Weekly Top Ten: Another Outstanding Week For Pink

For the second week in a row, pop music’s greatest underdog has topped our Weekly Top Ten charts. Yup, despite fierce competition from Katy Perry‘s anthem for plastic bags, Pink‘s “Raise Your Glass” has trampled the other songs on the countdown.

Her wrath was especially felt by Christina Aguilera, Amy Winehouse, Nelly Furtado, Mariah Carey and Kelis. These five artists didn’t receive enough votes in the last round, so we had to send them packing with Wild Card rejects Shayne Ward, Susan Boyle and Holy Fuck.

So how does this all work? If you’re a Weekly Top Ten virgin, stroke your cock to the hottest porno ever while I explain the rules to you. Each week you’ll be presented with ten songs. You get to vote for up to three that you’d like to see move on to the next week. From those results, we’ll take the five tunes with the highest percentages, a song we save and four other contributions. These selections will make up the following week’s charts.

Wishing there was a “none of the above” option? Well, quit your bitching and tell us what you want to see on the charts by leaving a suggestion in the comments. We listen to nearly every song you recommend, and if we think it’ll have a chance… you might see it here next time around!

– Dewitt

To check out the charts and cast your vote, follow the JUMP:

1. Pink – Raise Your Glass (LW – 1, W7): Don’t be fancy, just get dancey! While there are definitely some stupid-ass lyrics in this song, we can at least rest assured that Pink’s aware of her own ridiculousness. It’s obvious that she’s in on the joke, unlike a certain runner-up whose name I won’t mention…
2. Katy Perry – Firework (LW – 3, W3): Fireworks coming out of her… um, heart? Yeah, and I’ve got lightning coming out of my butthole! It’s getting to the point where I can’t hide my true feelings about this song and its accompanying visual representation. Therefore, I’m going to zip my lips and shut the fuck up.
3. Rihanna – Only Girl (In The World) (LW – 2, W10): OMG, you all have a boner for Rihanna! We thought you were voting this song because of the super-gay dance beat, but it turns out you just want to stand under Rihanna’s umbrella. And by umbrella, I mean vagina.
4. Robyn – Indestructible (LW – 4, W5): Maybe we should all move to Sweden. At least they know how to make good pop music, as evidenced by Robyn’s latest release from the Body Talk series. We can’t help singing along to the chorus of this track, and it never fails to get us pumped for a night out on town.
5. Ricky Martin f/ Joss Stone – The Best Thing About Me Is You (LW – 10, W2): Yay, Ricky Martin’s featured in the Out 100! It’s just a shame that his new single is so boring. I mean, er… Isn’t it great to hear a new song from this guy? Livin’ La Vida Loca 4eva, Y’all! Let’s just hoping he’s shaking his bon-bon in the upcoming music video.
6. Glee Cast – Teenage Dream (DEBUT): What the fuck? Didn’t we just talk shit about this track in our latest Gleek Out post? Yes, but apparently the rest of the country doesn’t mind overproducing a track that would sound fine as a live acapella performance. The apocalypse is coming. And it will all be caused by Auto-Tune.
7. Fefe Dobson – Stuttering (DEBUT): Our bad! We didn’t realize you loved “Stuttering” so damn much. When we didn’t include it on last week’s charts, a few of you were ready to hit us in the face with a bottle. This is the type of track that would be a huge hit with Kelly Clarkson’s name on it, but…
8. Goldfrapp – Believer (DEBUT): I’m a believer! I’m a believer! I’m a believer! In this song! Though some of you couldn’t get into the repetitive chorus of this jam, we can never get enough of Goldfrapp’s electo-pop goodness. It’s even sweeter now that we know Alison has a lady-friend!
9. Rihanna f/ Drake – What’s My Name? (DEBUT): Your early reviews of this track weren’t too charitable. Whatever! We are “G4L” besties with Rihanna, whether you like it or not. That stands for “gangsters for life”, in case you weren’t down with her awesomely underrated Rated R album.
10. Utada Hikaru – Goodbye Happiness (WILD CARD): If we’re being entirely honest, there’s no way in hell Utada will make it beyond this first week on the countdown. Even if she’s got a super-hot bear in her music video (see the 3:55 mark), the level of extreme cuteness won’t be enough to rake in a sufficient amount of votes. Please feel free to prove us wrong! In fact, we’d love it if you proved us wrong!