You might have noticed The Locker Room got a little less action in 2014. Back in early February, I made an executive decision to utilize the series to primarily focus on naked (or nearly naked) men in the sports world, and in that respect, the title of this post isn’t one-hundred percent accurate when you look back on the full year.
It would be a crime to not acknowledge someone like Michael Sam, who’s not only a good-looking dude, but also sparked conversation after conversation about what it means to be openly gay in (or out of) a professional sports league. Tom Daley and Ben Cohen both remained extraordinarily sexy, and outside of the obvious gay media darlings, there were even more rugby players, football studs and, yes, figure skaters who deserved some attention in 2014.
Two omissions from this list are notable for very different reasons. Benn Robinson was disqualified when I found out his headline-worthy ass belonged to former male pin-up model Rich McGunn (which is a shame, because that doesn’t change the fact that Benn’s totally fucking adorable). Julian Edelman of the New England Patriots gave new meaning to “wide receiver” when he flashed his jockstrap-clad ass on national television, but alas, his post was published in late December and, therefore, ineligible for today’s top ten.
But enough about who didn’t make the list! Scroll down to find out who did.
– Dewitt
Take a look at the best Locker Room posts of 2014 below:
_______________________________________________________________________________
We wrote: “Every now and then, there’s someone who shatters our perception of what defines a traditionally “good” body—see silver daddy golfer Gary Player in 2013 and, of course, Olympic bobsledder Steve Holcomb in 2010… Prince Fielder, a first baseman for the Texas Rangers, fills that role in the 2014 edition. He’s proud to show off his thicker, ink-covered physique, and judging from the number of bearish Tumblrs I’ve seen reblogging his pictures, his positive body image has obviously resonated with a certain faction of the gay community.”
_______________________________________________________________________________
We wrote: “Where does one begin with Lance Parker? The soccer player and international male model ranked as one of the top ten Sexiest Men of 2013 and spent two weeks atop The Ten earlier in that year. Although he’s curiously been off our radar since then, he’s come back in a really big way with this nude shoot by Jared Bautista.”
_______________________________________________________________________________
We wrote: “Yes, the 2014 Winter Olympics are being held in a country where gay people are slightly more welcome than smallpox. There’s no way to change it. Because the Olympics are revenue for a lot of people, and there’s no way bitches are going to choose morality over money. And the athletes have trained their entire lives for these moments. Hopefully, this will cast a spotlight on the situation for the LGBT community in Russia and it results in change. Or Vladimir Putin is accidentally cornholed by a zamboni. We can dream.”
_______________________________________________________________________________
7. GRADY SIZEMORE’S LEAKED NUDES:
We wrote: “Dewitt wrote about Grady’s close-to-nude pics way back in 09′, but they were lost due to technical difficulties! We now have a reason to be re-post them! Feast your eyes (and your boner) on Grady’s hot body in boxer briefs and, in one memorable pic, only covered by a mug of tea!”
_______________________________________________________________________________
6. STUART REARDON’S GAY TIMES SHOOT:
We wrote: “You already knew that English rugby player Stuart Reardon posed nude for the October 2013 issue of Gay Times magazine, but did you actually see the oh-so-delectable shots that rested between their pages? This morning, I had a moment, so to speak, with the one where he’s looking back, naked in the shower and basically inviting me to come rub my dick between his muscular cheeks.”
_______________________________________________________________________________
We wrote: “So what if Todd Sanfield never delivered on that promise to spread his butt cheeks for Manhunt Daily? Recently retired Australian rugby player Beau Ryan is a man of his word! He declared that he would appear on The Footy Show completely naked if NSW won the State of Origin, and even though I am a dumb American who has no idea what that means, the important matter is that he’s a fucking adorable male athlete showing off his ass. Sign me up for some of that.”
_______________________________________________________________________________
4. MARC MINGUELL SHIRTLESS IN A SPEEDO:
We wrote: “When I spotted Spanish water polo player Marc Minguell flashing his pubes (albeit, modestly) for photographer Joan Sèculi, my immediate instinct was to share this glorious visual with all you fine, horny men at home… Admittedly, there isn’t a whole lot of variety in the six shots below—and the size queens amongst you might be a little disappointed by the size of his bulge—but as far as I’m concerned, he deserves this spot in The Locker Room for his handsome features, hairy chest and a pair of thighs I wouldn’t mind holding onto while I munched on his (hopefully) fuzzy ass.”
_______________________________________________________________________________
We wrote: “Late last month, English rugby player Paul Doran-Jones followed in the footsteps of Ben Cohen, Harry Judd, Greg Rutherford and Dan Osborne by posing nude in Attitude magazine. We get a great view of his thick, meaty thighs, which seemingly have a greater circumference than his head. More importantly, there’s an outstanding shot of the 28 year-old athlete’s fuzzy bum, as he stripped down to promote safer sex and condom use.”
_______________________________________________________________________________
We wrote: “Does ‘totally naked’ imply full-frontal? If so, you’re going to be disappointed by Greg Rutherford‘s spread for Attitude magazine’s 2014 ‘Naked Issue’ (which previously brought us these outstanding shots of reality TV star Dan Osborne). The redheaded, English track and field athlete bares his bum in a few shots, but unfortunately, there’s no schlong anywhere to be found.”
_______________________________________________________________________________
1. NOVAK DJOKOVIC’S DICK PICS:
We wrote: “You might not give a fuck about tennis, but it’s common knowledge that Novak Djokovic is one of the hottest players in the game. We couldn’t believe our eyes when our deal pal Kenneth M. Walsh shared that Djokovic’s the subject of a Serbian tabloid story, suggesting he’s been caught waving his dick around on camera.”
_______________________________________________________________________________
When a group of athletes chase after balls, it’s called sport. When us gays do it, it’s a sin.
Omg…shut up.
LOL
I want to die and come back as Greg Rutherford’s underwear…
Marc Minguell, Marc Minguell, Marc Minguell and Lance Parker!