RuPaul’s Drag Race: Grand Finale

Judging from our Facebook feed, people have very strong opinions about last night’s season finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race. As you may already know, the three remaining queens–Alexis Mateo, Manila Luzon and Raja–put some bass in their walk for RuPaul‘s newest music video “Champion”. Truthfully? It was a hot-ass, Grecian mess.

Even so, we were still jealous that we didn’t get to (practically) simulate fellatio on the show’s pit crew, and the performances didn’t have much effect on the final results. It all came down to the final lip-synch on the main stage. So who won? As if you really need to ask…

– Dewitt

To watch this episode and check out the final results, follow the JUMP:

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CATCH UP: Episode 2 – The Queen Who Mopped XMas, Episode 3 – Queens In Space, Episode 4 -Totally Leotarded, Episode 5 – QNN News, Episode 6 -The Snatch Game, Episode 7 – Face, Face, Face of Cakes, Episode 8 – Ru Ha Ha, Episode 9 – Life, Liberty & The Pursuit of Style, Episode 10 – RuPaul-a-Palooza, Episode 11 – RuPaul’s Hair Extravaganza, Episode 12 – Jocks In Frocks, Episode 13 – Make Dat Money

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3. ALEXIS MATEO: Nope! It wasn’t Alexis Mateo. We realize we may have thrown you off by reversing the order of our rankings, but that’s just what you do when there’s a season finale. Once you read about who won, why would you care about the losers?

It’s no secret that Alexis was the underdog in this group. Though we’ve been harsh on her in the past, we have to admit that she really turned it out in the music video! We were also thoroughly impressed by her final runway presentation! Having said that, why are we perfectly okay with her coming in third place? What is it about Alexis that inspires “like” but not “love”? Are we merely biased against pageantry or something?

2. MANILA LUZON: Was she robbed? Did Raja “mop” the crown right off of her head? That’s what some people are saying, given all the rumors floating around the internet. However, conspiracies will get us nowhere in the end. Let’s just put things into perspective–this isn’t the last you’ll see of Manila. Taking the show’s recent history in account, you’ll likely hear more about her than this season’s winner.

For all our love for Ms. Luzon, we don’t know what she was thinking with that dress! When you know there’s a possibility that you’ll be lip-synching for your life on stage, you need to wear something that allows for a full range of movement. Raja could have literally danced circles around this bitch…

Of course, Manila’s final words reminded us why we love her so much: “I’m first runner-up. So if Raja dies of old age, maybe I’ll get the crown.” And in case you missed the last episode of Untucked, she also joked that she’ll be popping out of a box for season four. Don’t tease us like that, girl! We’d die. But in a good way.

1. RAJA: Haters are gonna hate. One of this show’s greatest criticisms is that it values looks over personality. It makes me sad that people are going to throw Raja into the same boat as Tyra Sanchez, because they are both doing such different styles of drag. Last night, for the first time ever, we realized that Raja is a true drag queen.

The man, Sutan, can’t compare to the ferocious woman who stomps down the runway. It’s a full transformation, without the aid of breast plates, padding or more feminine makeup. Generally, if you have a problem with Raja winning, you need to reassess your preconceived notions about “drag”… Or you could just bitch it up in the comments section.