Holy Shit, She’s Liz Taylor About As Much As I’m Race Cooper

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For the record, I am a pudgy Irishman. And this is gorgeous porn bod Race Cooper.

This is a rolling wreck of a plummeting meteor hurtling toward your TV. Lifetime has released the trailer for Liz & Dick, the Elizabeth Taylor bio featuring this hot piece (3rd one down) as Richard Burton and the triumphant return of haggard cokewitch Lindsay Lohan as La Liz (I love that nickname). Miss Lindsay left the wholesome days of Mean Girls behind long ago, and her most recent claims to fame include brazen thievery, scary vehicular hijinks, and overdosing on self-delusion whenever she can. You can file this flick in the “Self Delusion” category. There’s a reason why the trailer only features her saying a few lines. Cuz’ bitch can’t act, and she’s doomed to play Lindsay Lohan for the rest of her life. Liz just drank an entire bottle of White Diamonds up there in Heaven, hoping it would kill her again so she could avoid knowing about any of this. SHE DOESN’T EVEN DO THE BREATHY VOICE.

I will say this, though. Lohan as 80s-era Liz is AMAZING. She should have just taken the below shot and stopped there.

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– J. Harvey

To watch the trailer and clips from Liz & Dick, Follow the JUMP: