Gay Ass Gossip: Jude Law’s Single

ITEMJude Law and Sienna Miller are over. Again. They were together from 2003 to 2005 and then he fucked the nanny. And then they got BACK together in 2009. I will be forever indebted to Jude, because he was so completely hot in The Talented Mr. Ripley. When he rolled up tanned, and wearing porkpie hats and in a villa in Italy and being cruel, I was shuddering. And I usually go for the beefier types. Of course, he ended up with his head bashed in with an oar in that movie (spoiler) but while he was still pretty he WAS PRETTY. He’s a little balder nowadays, but he shouldn’t have any trouble finding a girl.

– J. Harvey

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ITEM – Look at you, Prince Harry, licking your fingers and staring dildos at me. You little slut. Prince Harry is fiery hot like his hair, and I want to do dirty things to him that British people are usually repressed about. But something tells me he isn’t repressed at all. He’ll fuck you in a car trunk. See, he was spotted leaving a London nightclub recently with his on again/off again girlfriend Chelsy Davy. To avoid the press, they reportedly both hopped into THE TRUNK of a waiting Jaguar. I don’t know what this avoid the press shit is, though, because you know he just wanted to do her in an exciting new place. Watch out for that jack, Chelsy.

ITEM – Does anyone else think Bravo’s main Housewife wrangler Andy Cohen is hot despite the wall-eye? I do. This picture also lets me know that he’s got some meat on his bones. Sweet – bounce that ass, Andrew. Anyway, he had my favorite quote of the week when someone asked him about former The Hills‘ grossness and paparazzi black hole Heidi Montag possibly joining The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. “That trash is delusional and I would sooner stab … knives into my own eyes than see her on this network.” HAH! Way to keep it real, Cohen. Interesting sidenote: I have a friend who fucked around with Andy and says that he’s not only super-nice but has a big ole’ dick. To the devil with these plastic Housewife hagathas, have a show centered around Andy’s peen.

ITEM – The trailer for X-Men: First Class is out, and it looks pretty cool. Mutants during the Cuban Missile Crisis and Mad Men styling? Nifty. I am a comics geek, so this was jizz-worthy. But I also wanted to post a pic of Michael Fassbender, who plays Magneto. Because he was hotsy as the undercover Brit in Inglorious Basterds. I’m not into evil or fascism, but jackboots are kinda hot. And he was actually a good guy, so I remain guilt-free.