Falcon Studios’ performer Erik Rhodes passed away in his sleep last night. He was 30. His death is being attributed to a heart attack. Here is an excerpt from Falcon’s press release (via The Sword):
It is with great sadness that San Francisco-based Falcon Studios and Raging Stallion Studios has confirmed the passing of Porn Superstar, Erik Rhodes. Erik died of a heart attack in his sleep this morning at 5:30 AM EDT. Rhodes had been a Falcon Exclusive for all but one scene in his entire career, and he rose quickly to Mega-Star status after his first DVD Super Soaked was released in 2004.
Chris Ward, Falcon/Raging Stallion Studios President offered the following statement: “We are deeply saddened by Erik’s passing. He was a part of our family and we are devastated. Our thoughts are with his loved ones.”
R.I.P. Mr. Rhodes. You will be missed. Falcon Studios has established a page for fans fo Erik to leave their condolences.
– J. Harvey
Condolences? He was an admitted steroid user who knew the consequences of his actions. He was a fool.
awww that is terrible.
RIP ERIK
Nice work, redboy. You teach an important lesson all should take to heart. Remember, guys: you can be 100% correct about something and still be a total ass.
He was not a fool. If you read his tumblr and blog, you’d know he was a seriously unhappy person who often used steroids and recreational drugs to get himself through the day/night. Rhodes was a tormented soul in life, and was self-destructive. It’s sad – don’t be so cold. Have some compassion.
Only the good die hung
what ever the circumstances its very sad news RIP erik
You’re truly a pig, Redboy70. Weather you agree with his alleged drug use or not, it’s disgusting and inappropriate to say something like that about somebody who has just passed away. Erik never did a thing to you. From everything I’ve read about this man, he never hut anyone except himself. Try having some respect for the dead.
Shoulda closed the comments J. harv, got some real douches who have no respect for the dead. Doesn t matter who died, respect for the dead is basic human decency.
Erik has been one of my favorite porn stars since day one. He’s handsome, muscular, has a huge cock, and does everything and anything on film. As far as his personal life is concerned, I understand he had some issues with drug use, as well as some self esteem problems, but it seems as if he was very self destructive, not destructive to others. I hope he’s at peace now with God.
How tragic that nobody stepped in to help him…he was crying out for help for years.
you have to admit though that red does have a point. he did this to himself. no one in that shape has a heart attack at 30 without some serious drug use. yes, life is tough, but not all of us run away to wonderland to cope.
The intro for his Tumblr blog account titled “Erik Rhodes: A Romance With Misery”
says: “My name is James… I have worked in the adult entertainment
industry for the last 7 years of my life under the name Erik Rhodes.
I’m not sure how I ended up here, and I don’t know how i have survived
this long… all i do know is that it can a very lonely place and
sometimes i need a blog to get shit off my chest. So take it or leave
it… here it is.”
He also wrote that he was on steroid overload.
He posted his last message four days ago, saying: “I’m waiting until I pop. Or my liver fails … which ever comes first.”
Sounds to me like the people at Falcon etc. might like to be more sympathetic in Life than in Death. Sounds like young men like Erik are forced to put up with awful pressures to survive in the industry.
He may be a fool, yes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t empathize with his plights. In addition to being an admitted heavy drug and steroid user, he was still widely remembered as a kind, smart guy.
Yes, it is a shame his drug use probably led to his death, and I hope it can lead to better discussions of consequences of lifestyles like his, but to dismiss him as a person because of his poor choices is pretty cruel.
Thank you. We are all free to agree or disagree with his lifestyle choices, but I’ve seen a lot of vitriol from the gay community in ways that show zero compassion or understanding. We need to support others who are having problems with drugs or mental illness instead of condemning them.
He lived fast and didn’t hit the breaks so he died young. As with anyone else, if he had wanted help, he would have asked for it.
Redboy I curse you for being such a redneck you unlettered and immoral deamon! You are fucked up more than the person you hate! Faggot would have been ironic to use against you fucktard!
He did use them because he was abondoned! Do you really fucking thinking that he was happy because he was getting paid from the porn? or could keep himself together!? He needed someone to love and when he thought he had he realised that he had nothing! No body for him to take care of him….
I hope you would die with a paid like that to understand him truly I curse you with the pain of love!
Yes, he did it to himself – so why all the self-righteous anger about it? His choices and ultimately his death should be a chance for the community to discuss mental health and drug issues, not to issue sassy one sentence crap about how he’s a “fool.”
I really loved him… Wish I was able to become a hand to help him..
His Tumblr has always been a pretty intense read. I’m sad that his lifestyle seems to have gotten the best of him, and that he didn’t have the support he needed to get through what was obviously a very hard time for him. Hopefully his death won’t be in vain, that someone in his position will see his death as a wakeup call to find help.
Some of the comments, here and elsewhere, are truly disturbing – the lack of compassion we have for drug addicts and those with mental health issues needs to change, especially in a community already suffering heavily from drug use.
Just because he abused drugs and did stupid shit (we all do stupid shit) we still need to show some compassion. His online persona was angry and abrasive. But whenever I saw him around NY, he was always alone and somber looking. I don’t know… it’s clear that he was very conflicted.
Ok, the guy was probably a fool , he probably used drugs. Chances are his death is “lifestyle related” Who am I to judge? I weigh 100lbs more than I should. It that a reason for people to curse me if I die too early? Probably not. Some will I am sure. Just keep in mind that he is still a person and deserves some respect in death if only for his family.
My “self-righteous anger” (and you’re overestimating how much I care about this event) comes from the fact that Rhodes was an admitted drug user who was admired and gainfully employed as a result of the effect that steroids had on his body. Falcon Studios is party to his death in my opinion by continuing to work with him. The time to discuss mental health and drug issues was before Rhodes died.
So I’m a pig for voicing my opinion even though you don’t know me, but Rhodes was a nice guy and never hurt anyone? Did he essentially just kill himself with his reckless drug use? Did that possibly hurt his lover and his family? I don’t have respect for the dead when they knowingly do it to themselves. He wasn’t a victim or a martyr, he was a tragic example of the gay community’s body image issues.
You all are putting lots of words in my mouth that I never used. I never dismissed him as a person. I think his death is a tragedy to those who loved him but he’s no hero.
Wow, not only are you really in touch with who Rhodes was though you never met him, you have a fine command of the English language. You use hateful words against me for expressing an opinion different than yours and I’m the bad guy? Needless to say, I’m reporting you to the site administrator, genius.
Not gonna bother reading more than the 3 comments on here I already have but this actually bothers me. Not cause I’m a “fan” but because I follow his blog and just saw him talking about his brother and he’s 30.
I see that I got everyone’s dander up with my comment. I apologize if anyone took it as a “curse” against Erik Rhodes or as any kind of disrespect for the dead. I do realize he was a sad, unhappy person and that he has left behind loved ones who will be forever changed by this and I truly feel sorry for them, but my comment was only about Rhodes’ choices. He freely talked about his steroid use and knew the consequences of steroid use, including probable death. The tragedy is that Falcon Studios benefited from Rhodes’ unhappiness and doesn’t seem to have done anything to prevent this sad end from coming.
I don’t mind that anyone disagrees with me as I see most of you do. How about we all show respect for Erik Rhodes by expressing our opinion about this issue in a clear, direct way without hate words or anger and see if we can’t all get something out of this sad event?
It’s unlikely that his death was a suicide in any sense of the word. Any time a 30 year old has a heart attack, the chances are overwhelmingly in favor of cocaine intoxication. I’d bet money that he used coke the evening before he went to bed … developed severe vasospasm from it, fibrillated and then died.
I’m sure his life was messed up and that the drugs — as with Whitney Houston — were a crutch to deal with it … but their use would still be called recreational. Steroids could have caused him to have heart failure, but not at age 30, and they wouldn’t have caused sudden death from a heart attack.
If I misinterpreted your opinion, I apologize, and I don’t want to put words in your mouth, but in my opinion, your post was dismissive of the situation and tactless towards his very recent death.
I don’t think Falcon helped his situation, but I’m not sure I’d call them a “party to his death.” He did what he did to himself and is ultimately responsible, and if he didn’t show up high at work, I’m not sure what Falcon should have done. Do you think refusing to work with him would have quelled his demons? I’m sure his position pushed him more towards steroids, and Falcon probably turned a blind eye – at least – but to what degree is someone else – especially a corporate entity – responsible for his body?
I agree that the time to save Rhodes was before his death, clearly. I don’t mean we should be discussing Rhodes’ death or issues specifically, but rather using it as a stepping stone to address those issues in regards to the gay community and to the world as a whole.
And we wonder why we are judged and hated, when we are the most judgemental, mean, spiteful, cold sad little boys. I dont know this bloke, dont dont think I have seen his vids, but sad and shocking to see such evil comments about a man that I dont think was Hitler, a child molester, rapist, killer or general homophobic?? but I did not know the bloke, I just feel sorry that someone so young dies and the comments posted after truly horrific, makes me proud to be a gay man.. well done boys! Once again you guys show the true meaning of the word “gay community”.
ps let the comments begin I wont be responding or replying,
One last thing I hope the poor lad finds peace wherever he is now.
Sidenote: Porn star or not, I don’t want to celebrate their work after I read of them dying. “He just died so come jack off to his best scenes.” Really? It’s just in bad taste IMO.
I’d like to think of the person (James). He had a life, and people who love him. Every time his brother looks in the mirror, he may be reminded that his other half isn’t with him anymore and for their parents to bury one of their children in the next few days.
He’s off his pedestal, no need for anyone to be malicious.
I am deeply saddened by
Erik’s death today. I got to know him over the past 5 years outside his
porn career. Each time we spent time together he was a class act guy,
friendly, talkative, totally sharing and caring and by all means hot! I
know he had many problems and a hard life because of them but I take heart in
that I was able to get to know the man beyond the issues he faced. I’m
glad to have shared a small piece of his life and will miss him a lot.
I doubt that the gay porn industry has a compassionate or empathetic bone in its corporate body. In a direct and probably very real way, they were the direct beneficiaries of Rhodes’ malaise and problems. You have to wonder how many other Erik Rhodes’s there are in the industry that they are stringing along and milking for earnings.
Take a look at Chi Chi LaRue’s parting RIP and then try to tell me that there is anything in it that is genuine. If the industry really cared one iota about Erik Rhodes, they’d fund a foundation in his name as a resource to deal with depression and adjustment disorders in LGBT youth…
… but the industry is an agglomeration of greedy, exploitative whores that could not possibly care less.
I am not wrong about this.
I think our problem is we show too much compassion in this world and never hold anyone accountable. If you do steroids and drugs, it will probably end in death – period. Instead of wringing our hands and sugar-coating the obvious, we should publish pictures of his dead body in every gym and gay bar across the country to try and discourage dangerous behavior. Then his life might actually have meaning.
Yeah because there is such overwhelming evidence that scare tactics and negative ad campaigns are even minimally effective tools for changing behavior. Yeah they work so good.
Dead body. Brilliant.
call me an ass but when you abuse drugs and steroids, death is something you have to accept as a real possibility. we all have problems in life, but its up to us to rise above them and try to make them better. Masking them with drugs wont make ANYTHING better and in fact make your problems worse. it is sad that someone died so young, but he was a self abusing drug addict who is probably much happier in death than he was alive. sometimes being real and being truthful hurts but its the best way to be. RIP
Actually, living through the 80’s and having to see 95 lbs AIDS-riddled bodies had an ENORMOUS effect on my behavior – that’s why I’m still alive and healthy in 2012 posting on inane gay websites. I do know what won’t change behavior, and that is celebrating and collectively crying over some roided-out porn star. Our actions have consequences, the sooner people learn that the more likely they are to survive.
It’s a shame he chose drugs to deal with his issues instead of seeking professional help. Hopefully someone else may see this as a warning and not pursue the same path.
Glad you were able to douche out your infected twat drippings on us; hope you feel better…
Whether you loved him or hated him, admired him or condemned him, there’s no denying that Erik Rhodes had become more than just a porn star: he was an icon, a legend, probably the last TRUE gay porn star, and we’ll probably still be talking about him decades from now.
Rest in peace, James.
A human being is a human being no matter what they did / didn’t do, a life is gone…
Have you ever read the man’s blog ? he was welcoming death at times….most people abusing drugs are just self medicating because either the psych field hasnt worked or they wont admit their own faults and see a shrink …hopefully the poor man found the peace he apparently didnt find in life
not contributing to the complete disrespect for someone’s passing … just a RIP to an entertainer that I’m sure did his job correctly for more of you snarky cunts than you’d care to admit
death is never kind, though i’m sure no one will even recognize your bile and vile when you leave this mortal coil … so I guess it’s a win / win
RIP
Out of respect for Mr. Rhodes’ family and friends, I want to send my condolences,
for their loss.
I find the discussion/speculation over what may have been the cause of his heart
attack unnecessary. Whether it was drugs/steriods or not doesn’t make a difference
now, as this man died far too young. As someone who has been dealing with a
tremendous amount of personal loss of most of my family, and dealing with severe depression, it is with the grace of God, a psychiatrist, an understanding therapist,
and medication, I am coping and have survived.
I empathize with anyone who has gone through HELL, and come out the other side.
Please stop the name calling/fighting, Erik Rhodes deserves better.
Anyone who read his blog knew he has been suffering from mental issues for a while and was sadly abusing drugs to deal with it. And I think he was dealing with this issue before he was in the porn scene. Unfortunately, he didn’t have a strong enough support system around him to help (and some people need something more than the conventional treatments). It is sad that members of the gay community need to express vile and negative things when someone in the industry passes (no matter what the cause of death) rather than just posting a simple condolence. It’s poor examples such as these that deter any progress the community can make because we are the first to tear down others in our community rather than trying to remember what was good. And that negative image is one we should work harder to move away from. I send condolences to his family and hope that now he is peace and no longer in pain.
I remember the same accusations leveled against the late Rob Sager (aka Brett Mycles, an exclusive for Jet Set Productions) when he died unexpectedly before the age of thirty. Because he was a competitive bodybuilder, everyone naturally assumed steroid abuse. Turns out it was an undiagnosed medical condition that was prevalent in his family background. Regardless of how someone lived their lives off screen, remember them for their body of work and the pleasure they brought their fans. And if some of their peers in the business are experiencing the same feelings of depression or problems with addiction, hopefully James’ death will serve as motivation for them to seek the help they need. Rest in peace, James.
I may have done some mistakes but not that big like you did!
I didn’t know Erik, visited his blog sometimes, & enjoyed his work. I would like to have known him as he seemed like a nice guy.
I find some of the comments here & elsewhere quite repugnant. From what I understand Erik was suffering from depression. As a person who has depression, has been doing the therapy & pills for the past 20 years, it’s not the same as “Oh life’s hard, get over it”. It’s something in your brain telling you nothing’s good enough even though to someone else it would be, You’re not good enough, everything is for nothing. I have been on 6 different anti depressants, & starting 3-4 years ago it been 2. I was on the max dose of Zoloft before switching to my new one, high enough that when I told him, a Dr had to ask me 3 times if I was right on the dosage amount. I think/hope this new combo is right for me this time.
There is no “Get over it”, some people don’t ever find what works for them, like I think Erik didn’t so they find their own “meds”. Plus I think from what I’ve read on his blog, that he had body dismorphic disorder, where no matter how good you look, it’s never enough, nor ever right to you, hence the steroids. Keeping up hope that you’ll ever get better is tiring & depressing in & of itself. I have been & still am sometimes suicidal, so I know what it’s like to be in the bottom low, I’ve been lucky enough to never reach the actual bottom.
So yeah life is hard, but sometimes some of us have an extra “insider” making it harder. Just remember that before spouting off about Erik
In articles penned by E.R. it is made clear by his own admission he suffered from chronic incurable biological depression.
I am neither so calus nor arrogant to act as Judge and Jury over Rhode’s lifestyle choices as it was his body, his life to do with as he pleased. The caveat being he caused no harm to others.
For him the noise and misery has ended …
I hope his twin brother is at peace and condolences to his family, boyfriend and friends.
This is so sad. I remember reading his blog sometimes and it just being so depressing to read that I had to stop. Can only imagine what it was like to be living in his shoes. Wish something could have been done to help him before this happened.
I like eggs.
The opinion your taking i agree with but will never be popular among crowds you should really just give up now…………
I don’t Empathize for him partly because I didn’t know him and it was his fault you should never feel sorry for someone who knew what they were doing and died because of it..
no offence but he brought it on himslef drug/steriod addiction killed him, guess he deserve it by being obsessed with death & playing it with it
in any of my jobs, if those statements had become known, human resources would have stepped in and at least have done an evaluation ie was he on drugs at work…done a mental health evaluation to see if he was fit to work..able to make rational decisions. am sure those at falcon ect knew of his situation..perhaps nothing would have come out of it but thats what would have happened in many jobs.
redboy70 god will deal with him we r not to judge one for the out come his passing breaks my heart he was a very god star and yes his passing hurts the one s that loved him and his family but if he passed from storids use that is not for us to say only god knows the truth
Me thinks that comment section of this post should have been locked…
He was a victim of the very issue you pointed out, the gay community’s body image issues. He didn’t decide that he needed to look that way arbitrarily; magazines, advertisements, our community all pushed him into his mental illness, and we weren’t there to lift him back out of it. You can think he did this to himself all you want, but you are wrong.
I just want to express my disappointment towards all of those that say that he “did this to himself””. Not only is this disrespectful, it is ignorant. I work at a Drug & Alcohol rehab center and I work with youth ages 14-17. You’d be surprised (or not) some of the horror stories about what people have gone through that has led to their use. Many are survivors or physical, emotional or even sexual abuse. They start using as a coping mechanism to “deal” with the trauma in their lives. From the descriptions of his blogs, it sounds like he has some demons he was fighting.
He knew what he was playing with, get over it, if his that fucked up get out of the adults business with all Sharks thats in it!!! we all make choice he made his and now his Dead, his choice
Amen
Then it’s my choice to respect human life with some level of tact, regardless of whether his moral judgements align with mine, and acknowledge the suffering that other people go through can be painful enough to ruin a life – intentional or not. You can feel free to remain removed from compassion, though. Rhodes was a fuck up, a drug addict, a porn star; but before any of that he was a person.
it was his Choice at the End so get over it
Go ahead and try to sugar coat it, but his not the first or the Last, seen this way too many time in the Circuit scene, we all make these choices, These Mens knows what they are taking and the risk, lets live in reality cause this a lot more common then people think, James just happen to be a Porn Star
If this had been a “normal” person, I would have been equally as pragmatic towards people with little value for human life. I don’t think I could have picked Rhodes out of a lineup; it’s not a personal crusade for him, it’s a personal crusade against people who dismiss drug addicts or those suffering from mental health issues, especially in death.
WOW! I was SHOCKED when I read this and it makes me quite sad to think that him and Jason Adonis are my first and only platonic loves of the porn industry. may he be in a better place now reed of all his pain and sorrows <3
you are so right! it IS sad that a vibrant young man passed away, a victim to his own demons, but much more shameful that his suffering was known to a COMMUNITY of people who seemingly did nothing to help him…THAT is the REAL tragedy here… for all their eloquent praise and remembrances, mr. rhodes’ friends, family & employers should have stepped in to help him address his terrible depression/substance abuse issues…for all intents and purposes, rhodes’ own raw, vulnerable and depressive blog was an ongoing ‘suicide note’ that took YEARS to play out…the world was reading this blatant cry for help and NOBODY heeded the call…high price to pay for being a pretty face in the skin-trade, i guess…rest-in-peace, lovely man…
He’s dead, ha ha hayeehaw
OMG, I was the person who posted that question. Which means, his last response in his tumbler site was for me. May he rest in peace. His steroid dosage was just crazy. I use steroids, and he clearly went overboard. I will never do such a thing.
He actually spent 72 hours in a rehab facility only a few weeks ago and he was struggling with trying to find sobriety as of late. Beyond that his blog was pretty much a massive cry for help. One that had he had anyone in his life that gave a shit, would have warranted a serious intervention.
Actually he was severely addicted to meth and steroids. Cocaine wouldn’t be necessary. Even just taking meth while on steroids, or just being on steroids alone would have been more than enough to take out his heart.
I was the one who posted the last question on his tumbler site. I’ve been on and off steroids, and I do believe that supervised and controlled cycle of steroids, plus constant liver tests will do no harm. Any substance, from steroids to your regular pain killers, can be fatal when abused. I was just curious about his gear, and I was shocked when he answered that he’s doing Test Enanthate a week and 2500 mg of Nandrolone Decaonate, which is waaaaay over the top. Whether or not he’s giving me a sarcastic answer, it’s still giving me the shivers knowing that my question will generate such a controversial answer. Proper usage, such us doing post cycle therapy, can be beneficial to any bodybuilder. I hope people will stop passing judgement to all steroid users. Your local fitness trainer that you admire dearly might secretly be using it.
http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kennethbeltran
In my opinion people are conditioned from a young age to believe, death brought on by any means other than natural causes, accident or murder is an affront to humanity, unforgivable and an act of cowardice.
Yes, it is easy to throw stones, type in the dark angry, arrogant off handed ignorant comments which, by the way are well beyond most individuals depth of knowledge.
Personally, anyone who has written something ugly needs a time out. Consider counseling and if already in counseling take their comment and discuss.
I’m just saying…
I for one, will not judge another persons choice of what they do with their life. But to put value on a life when the person living it doesn’t is an utter waste of time and energy. They’ll never hear you until they are ready…save your compassion for those who are doing something about their self described bad situation and support them. Supporting someone who refuses to see the light and defines his relationship when breaking up that ”i’ll never let anyone in like that again” only goes to point that this man was looking for someone else to do HIS work to grow as a human, he didn’t have the strength to do it on his own–i.e. go to therapy, heal yourself, become whole, and if you still want to party until you’re busted at 30 years old and dead at 31 then go for it, you have the freedom to do it. It’s not disrespectful for me to say ”what a waste”; I’M respecting his choices–no matter how detrimental they were to his being…it’s his right. As for a ””’community”” — what community? I don’t want to be part of a community that lives up to stereotypes, perpetuates the myth of over 30 and you’re done (the male brain isn’t even fully baked until 25 so get over it), and where if alcohol, sex, drugs, diva music, drama, BRAVO, and LOGO are supposed to represent who I am…no way, no thank you. The most I have in common with the ‘gay community’ is the oppression and the fact I love other men..I share no other characteristics : and it’s NOT homophobia; don’t go there…I volunteered my 30s educating, employing and turning club queens into activists……
in death the saying goes.. “Of him say neither good nor bad, because he has gone beyond the good and the bad.”
Agreeing with Anne…there is so much vitriol in our society today, led by our elected officials in Washington. It’s NEVER wrong to be kind. I have been close enough to the abyss to understand the pain that some people must deal with day to day. I can only champion death for the truly evil, or for the greatly suffering.
Has any of you been depressed at least once? do you know how it feels? erik rhodes had depression and that is not just a word… it’s a serious ilness.
he was just trying to get it over day by day and now i see why… mostly of time he felt lonely because people like you. , who critisize
he was a person, you’re reacting like a dog were passed away, was so bad to him to express his own feelings at his blog? being a pornstar means to not be a person? now you say that, but i am sure many of you were happy when he did a movie… that’s hypocrital.
reading you, i understand why he felt lonely and why he used drugs
exactly, it’s easy to judge, but none knows the whole story, i have had many depressions in my life and it’s really a hell, sometimes you really want to be dead just to take a breath from pain, feeling bad about youserlf, feeling like nobody knows you or loves you… maybe his life was a disaster but when he wasn’t depressed he also shown he could be a great person.
i am sorry for the lost, nobody or almost nobody gave him an opportunity to feel good
I knew James (Erik Rhodes) very deeply. He was not ignored, he was a deeply troubled person and not solely because of drug abuse. The porn industry did not ruin him. It just escalated his self destructive nature. I’m certain every person who he encountered, he received pity and compassion from. That is what kept himgoing, that’s what made him feel cared for. No amount of sex, no matter how extreme, no amount of muscle attainment, or drugs, or alcohol was enough for him. He just had a constant feeling of emptiness. I’ll tell you all the years I knew him- I gave and gave….and gave, what did I get back in return? Heartbreak, a lot of sad nights, and mental anguish. I don’t think there’s a close person in his life that wouldn’t agree. Watching a masochist destroy themselves and others in the process is not for the faint of heart. He is the most selfish, self absorbed, manipulative man I’ve ever met. am i sad? yes. you can’t rescue someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
Some of you nasty posters sound more like Teabaggers than gay. So fucking judgmental and holier-than-thou that it makes me ashamed they and I are gay, together. If you not already members of Log Cabin Republicans or GOPround, why don’t you consider joining? You could add to the pool of Jews for Hitler types.
James is dead. It is truly regrettable when a 30 year old man dies suddenly. He never intentionally harmed anyone else least of all you conservative fucks who now sit in judgment.
i wonder if i would get the same amount of fanfare that erik has if i were to pass away right now?
(i’m 30 as well.)
I don’t think there’s a gay man out here who hasn’t gone through depression. We all had to fight to become who we are and not to feel shame; that in and of itself is praise worthy to all of us. As for this gentlemen’s choice of behavior on how to deal with his depression: NO ONE HELD A GUN TO HIS HEAD TO SHOOT STEROIDS AND ABUSE OTHER DRUGS THAT WOULD TAKE HIS LIFE. There’s a HUGE difference between being supportive of people who are in crisis vs being an enabler. He himself wrote how he felt betrayed by a lover- WHO HASN’T , it doesn’t lead to suicide (which although technically his death is a ‘heart attack’, just as someone who smokes death is lung cancer–it’s just not a blatant act of od-ing or shooting yourself. No one said a thing about him not being a person because he was a porn star..who cares what he did for a living-AS LONG AS HE WAS DOING IT AS A JOB AND NOT JUST ANOTHER DIVERSION of his real wounding and inability and unwillingness to deal with his wounding. The horrid excuse you use ”why he used drugs” is so uninformed…far worse happens to people on this planet and they don’t drown themselves in drugs and booze and boys and roids.
I’ve witnessed the same…it’s like you see the train coming and can’t do a damn thing to get them out of the way–there’s NOTHING you could have done to stop this from happening..it was is mission. Obviously he was in the ”I’ll show you” part of the self destructive pattern. I’m sorry for your loss because no matter how mad you must have gotten at him from time to time, how you said you gave up, deep in your heart you know you never stopped caring—that’s a true friend…he was lucky to have you (even if he didn’t know it)
why is it a ”judgement” and what’s it have to do with politics when you’re aware enough , evolved enough to realize that people do with their lives what they want to do with their lives???? He got caught up in the self destruct mode..of course it’s regrettable but he did NOT die suddenly….he was committing suicide for years by abusing NOT JUST USING what he did in order for his heart to stop. Your correlation between someone who abused themselves and killed themselves and the GOP make no sense whatsoever.
are you ”””””””””’famous””””””””””? if so, I hope the fanfare would be much more solemn and the circumstances regarding your death not self inflicted.
it’s my way of questioning whether one man’s life is “worth” more than another’s, merely because he was more attractive.
of course not. we’re all here and worthy, I hope you never really feel unworthy of a full happy life.
What a sad sick piece of shit you are.
i, personally, feel quite worthy of having a full, happy life.
but there are others who would wish to prevent this simple goal from being attained.
i fear.