Don’t Do This: Assume That Everything Is Okay Because You’re Somewhere Else

There are many assurances we make to ourselves: “being gay is great, because we can get married or have a thriving queer community”; “I’m HIV-negative and therefore I am ‘clean’ unlike those POZ guys—sucks to be them!”; and “working out is important because it means I will get laid.”

The problem with this thinking is that none of it is healthy, and all of it is wrong (even if some guys like abs and will only fuck you if you have them).

So Daddy’s second tip is: don’t assume you aren’t vulnerable to anything, just because you believe you are the exception to a non-existent rule.

Image: Young men are detained by the police during an unauthorised protest by gay activists

Take what is happening in Russia as an example: not doing anything is a mistake. ‘Something’ could be anything from raising awareness to raising a flag, and yet some people still don’t believe that call to action is necessary (even after all the suffering to date). This is an example of western queer privilege that has led to us taking stock of our own needs before the much more needy.

And that’s just one way to look at our queer privilege. Here’s another: When a person is infected with HIV, the Internet and life-breathers, in an assortment of fruit flavours, will refer to this person/these human people as not-clean. Why is it that when someone becomes positive, they become unclean? If lovers become lepers, where is the inspiration to disclose? When the social infection spreads from within the queer community, from people who deem themselves better or cleaner by virtue of the fact that they are HIV negative, another division—in a long line of divisions—is formed that creates boundaries to access. These are boundaries that limit what we learn about the virus–they slow progress and prevent change.

As for abs? Ain’t nobody got time for that. Do you, and love and sex will find you.

Daddy Mayonnaise

Photo credit: Justin Monroe

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