My name is Dewitt, and I’m an Azealia Banks stan*. This came to my attention after a friend mentioned their disdain toward the rapper, singer, fashion icon and all-around flawless human being. My initial response, which seemed entirely logical at the time, was to write that friend out of my life forever and ever.
Thankfully, I had the sense to stay silent and patiently wait for Azealia’s eventual world takeover, when she’ll transform all haters into human ottomans, ensure all cunts are properly eaten, reverse the effects of global warming, solve world hunger, cure every disease and make it rain sweet jizz onto the inhabitants of Planet Fantasea (because “Earth” is so last season).
The next step in this eventual world takeover, but of course, is the music video for “1991”. Some of you might recognize this as the title track from Azealia’s debut EP. The rest of you should strip down to your underwear and gyrate to this song immediately… Because if you don’t learn to love it, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll be turned into a human ottoman! That would be the worst.
– Dewitt
* If you are not familiar with the term “stan”, you might want to read this article.
Click through to watch the music video for “1991”:
Crystal Waters is looking boss.
Crystal Waters is looking boss.
Crystal Waters is looking boss.
Crystal Waters is looking boss.
Gosh, I love everything she’s done so far! Let the takeover commence!!
^ J. Harvey wrote this comment, presumably.