Defense Attorney Damon Andros Teaches His Punk-Ass Client Brandon Wilde How To Behave

Does that one phone call you get in jail usually result in this? Entitled little shitheads with big peach butts who whine questions like “don’t you know who I am?” deserve one thing and one thing only. A BIG, HARD COCK GRUDGE-FUCKING THEIR BOUNCY ASSES. […]

I Don’t Understand Why Andrew Christian Didn’t Invite My Penis To Their Glow-In-The-Dark Make Out Party.

It has recently come to my attention that underwear brand Andrew Christian threw a glow-in-the-dark make out party, and they neglected to send an invitation to my penis. This doesn’t make any sense! Manhunt sponsored this aforementioned party, and you would think they’d want to have […]