Who is this bespectacled, inked gentleman holding an immaculately-decorated carrot cake? Why, he’s none other than up-and-coming porn star Dale Cooper, one of the only reasons we hope the world doesn’t end in 2012! He’s set to make his debut early next year with Anteros […]
Antonio Is A Hot Gymnast Who Talks Dirty
I will forever be indebted to Naked Pictures of Your Dad for introducing me to Antonio, a muscular young jock who goes by the alias “Hot Gymnast” and needs to shove his dick inside of me immediately. He spends most of his videos spouting out […]
Flashback Friday: Van Reynolds
For a publication called Uniformed Rape, this 1981 spread of Van Reynolds might seem unusually tame and devoid of any actual uniforms. A handsome gentleman poses outdoors! He shoves his fuzzy ass and thick bush toward the camera! And then, GASP, his arms are tied […]
The Cock Buffet: New Gay Porn With Krys Perez, Samuel O’Toole, Bob Hager, Ari Gypsy & Many More!
I’ll never understand why The Cock Buffet doesn’t perform as well as our other posts about porn, because it’s literally just copious amounts of porn! Why would you want to read a post about one measly scene, when there are nearly two dozen sexy fuckers […]
Quickie: Sylvain Guillemaud
Sylvain Guillemaud‘s hip/butt tattoo looks surprisingly familiar, but that may be the result of staring at his pictures for as long as we have. Perhaps he’s done another shoot with photographer Luke Austin? Or maybe he did some porn for BentleyRace or some studio like […]
Hot Rugger: Dan Carter
As a friend of mine says, “HOLY SHITBALLS.” When you Google “hot rugby player”, this sports deity pops up. Dan Carter looks like if Superman ditched the world-saving and took up short shorts and running on the pitch. Carter’s also a spokesbod for Jockey. He’s […]
Secret Sex: The Sexiest “Unsexy” Men of 2011
Are you getting tired of all these “Best of 2011” lists yet? We have good news for you, because today’s installment of Secret Sex puts a spin on the usual end-of-the-year countdown. We took the top fifty subjects from The Phoenix‘s list of “The Unsexiest […]
Mario Lopez Is Selling His Underwear
Okay, can we just all agree that Mario Lopez keeps getting better with age? He never did anything for me in his Saved by the Bell days—which makes sense since I was no more than eight years old—but fucking A.C. Slater has grown up quite […]
Fuck, Marry, Block: “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”
I was so into Rooney Mara as the punked-out, depressive, bisexual hacker chick in the upcoming The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, but then she opened her fool mouth and started talking shit about one of my fave rave programs, Law & Order: SVU. Mariska […]
Big Beefy Monster Hotness Gets A Rubdown
I am so jealous of this lady. She is basically GRIPPING HIS ASSCHEEKS and manipulating them. And he’s all thonged and laying there like a big side of fuckbeef. Yeah, I wrote “fuckbeef”. – J. Harvey