ITEM – I’m jealous of Jessica Simpson’s Dad. According to his ex-son-in-law Nick Lachey, whenever Nick went to sit down at Joe Simpson’s house, Joe’s hand was ready and waiting. Hot! Who needs a chair when you can just sit on Papa Joe’s hand? And maybe get finger-banged? I’d love if Nick Lachey sat on my hand. And my face. And my cock. He’s big, dumb, and hot. With large, juicy pecs. Nick revealed this hot little tidbit on Watch What Happens…Live with that sexy Andy Cohen. Andy Cohen can sit on any of my body parts, too. Check the vid below for Nick confirming Joe Simpson’s homosexuality.
By the way, this item is kind of ironic. We can’t actually go INTO it, but we have it on pretty good authority that Nick isn’t a stranger to a hairy knuckle in his butt. And Jessica and his current wife’s knuckles would presumably be hair-free. Just sayin’.
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ITEM – Princess Charlene of Monaco is reportedly cheating on her husband Prince Albert with New Zealand rugby player Byron Kelleher. She supposedly missed accompanying her husband to a coronation because she’s letting Byron into the scrum going on in her royal vagine. They met because Byron is their sports advisor or something and they’ve even had him on vacation with them. Hmmm, threesome gone wrong? It’s long been rumored that the royals are in one of those loveless marriages. For real, check Albert. Now check out these pics of Byron again. Can you blame her? Albert is an ordinary-looking dude. That’s fine. But Byron here is sex savagery with some more hot on top.
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ITEM – Openly gay Latin telenovela and pop star Christian Chavez is being accused of attempted murder by an ex-boyfriend. Christian and ex Ben Stewart-Kruger were both arrested in April at the Beverly Hills home they shared after a domestic dispute. Stewart-Kruger applied for a restraining order, and TMZ sez that he accuses Chavez of trying to stab his ass in the court documents.
“[Christian] attacked me, broke down bathroom door, armed with knife, attempted murder.”In the docs, Ben explained, “We dated, I broke up with him, he was required to move out the day before this incident.””A verbal argument caused this issue. I was locked in the bathroom when police arrived.”
Police aren’t pressing charges as of now, due to lack of evidence but the restraining order was granted. If you have a shaky relationship with your dude and he seems like he might be a little iffy mentally, you might want to replace all of the cutlery in the house with safety scissors before you kick him out.
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