Dear Luka Jones‘ taint,
Your may not know it yet, but you want to be licked by me. You were spectacular on NBC’s Best Friends Forever, until NBC decided to cancel that show in favor of such gems like Guys With Kids. Who knows? Maybe when they stop airing ten-hour marathons of The Voice every single fucking night, they’ll bring you back for a second round. Not likely, but a boy can dream! At least I can still stream the only six episodes on Hulu.
(Note to anyone who isn’t Luka Jones’ taint. Go watch this show. It’s great, actually.)
Thankfully, NBC gave you a second chance when you joined Christina Applegate, Will Arnett and Maya Rudolph as a main cast member on Up All Night. Your owner, if we can call him that, grew a beard for the role, and I liked it so much that I tweeted him and asked if I could jizz on it. This was his response:
So I don’t know! I guess your owner is sort of gay for me? Or he’s just into “no homo” facials? Truth be told, I’m not going to argue either way. We should arrange a meeting soon to discuss this, and if you’re able to relay the message, please tell Luka that he’s also welcome to jizz on my beard. It would be unfair otherwise.
Smooches,
– Dewitt
PS: Thanks for liking gay people! Sorry for this post.
Click through to see more pics of Luka Jones:
On Up All Night, rockin’ a beard:
On Best Friends Forever, rockin’ no beard:
With jizz on his face, SWOONING for me:
This last one is courtesy of Fakecials, which is pretty much my new favorite blog.
Think you mean Christina Applegate, not Aguilera 🙂 Otherwise that would have been a weird show
disappointed to see you include NO HOMO in your tweet. it’s like i always say – we are our worst enemies.
HA, good call! I had her on my mind after complaining about The Voice.
TEAM DE’BORAH + TEAM COREY BELEW.
I think it’s rather apparent that I’m not serious about the “no homo” part, considering I just said I want to jizz on his face. It was a joke!
Agreed, Dewitt. He IS a hottie especially with the beard. I’d help out if you wanna bukkake that beard.
hot
He’s so hot! I like him on Up All Night too.
And Dewitt…your letter to his taint is fantastic. It’s adorable in a such a weird way haha
Thanks! I’m just hoping his taint writes a letter back to me.