Who The Hell Won?: Week Of 11/14/11

God, Jack Mackenroth is so hot. He’s like a gay superhero. It’s kinda Silence Of The Lambs-y but I REALLY want to lick his arms. Enough said.

We run a multitude of polls during the week, and here’s where you find out who won! The results are after the jump!

– J. Harvey

Would You Hit That?: Casper Smart

J.Lo’s new backup dancin’ beau was the subject of last week’s “Would You Hit That?” and more than half of you would. 53.25% said that you would make him dance on the head of your cock. I was also personally fulfilled that 8.47% of you agreed with me that Jennifer Lopez is a giant asshole. Who’s over. She has a few good tracks, but her personality is about as tiny as her ass is big.

iPhone Wars: Battle Of The Goofy Faces (Part II)

A man who looks like Mike Wazowski jizzed all over his face took Iphone Wars. Contestant C proved that a goofy look and a cucumber-melon mask can not dilute the sexy of a cut body.

Fuck Vs. Fuck: Guys Tom Wolfe Fucked

This week we asked you to vote on which of three guys Tom Wolfe pleasured with his fuckstick made for the hottest pairing. Step right up, Shay Michaels! If we were giving out trophies for this category, yours would undoubtedly be a golden version of Tom’s dick.

Aural Fixation: Awesome Shit That’s Not On The Radio

I know shit about finding new music, so Dewitt’s “Aural Fixation” feature is where I learn what to download. Out of four tracks, Azealia Banks’ raunchy “212” was the song you guys must wanted as a soundtrack to your ass sex. As an added bonus, the dude with the glasses in the vid was cute as fuck! Glasses on a guy can be hot.

Who Would You Rather?: People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive

Shit got real in Useless Pop Culture Land last week when Bradley Cooper was named People’s Sexiest Man Alive. But what about Ryan Gosling, the world (and myself) screamed? I’m waiting for them to officially depose Brad and pass the Sexiest Man Alive crown (it’s kind of an odd title, do they kill the old ones?) over to Ry Ry. Anyway, we asked you to choose which celebrity out of Cooper and the last three SMAs you wanted to plow. You might not have seen this coming (that was sarcasm) but Ryan Reynolds sexy is obviously very much alive.

Top Or Bottom: Tim Tebow

Dewitt made me worship him even more this week when he made the irritating but sexy Tim Tebow the subject of “Top Or Bottom”. I’d like Tim to Tebow his balls right on my face, but Jesus wouldn’t like that. Anyway, you guys think that Tim is a total top with 24.57% of the vote. Of course he is, you can’t fuck his ass – his personality is up there blocking the way.

2 thoughts on “Who The Hell Won?: Week Of 11/14/11

  1. Jack is HOT as hell – until he opens his mouth. 🙁 A little too Queeny for my taste. But, really YUMMY eye candy!

  2. Jack Mackenroth is all kinds of awesome. I chat him up on Twitter. Nice guy all around. And funny as hell. I bought his amFAR calendar.

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