Wanna Be On Top?: ANTM Does Rachel Zoe

We’d much rather swoon over hot guys and baby animals. Of course, when it comes to generally adorable things, we’ll settle on a cuddly creature posing with contestants from America’s Next Top Model. While celebrity stylist (ugh) Rachel Zoe simultaneously whored out her faux fur line and acted as a guest judge, there’s no denying who the real star of the show was–Murato. A motherfuckin’ baby jaguar.

We know, we know! This is way too much pussy for one post on Manhunt Daily. But a few of these images made us squeal in delight, in a way the Disappointing Gay Best Friend would frown upon. We can’t help it if we like looking at pretty things, right?

– Dewitt

Photo credit: Scott Alan Humbert

To check out this shoot and read more, follow the JUMP:

1. HANNAH (LW – 2): This is so now. The way Hannah’s chin is jutting out, in a completely unnatural fashion. The slightly disjointed angles her arms and hands create. Dare we say it bears a resemblance to some of Lady Gaga’s photo shoots? It could just be the blonde hair.

The judges clearly agreed with us! Even though the whole point of this challenge was to show off Rachel Zoe’s designs, you can’t even tell what Hannah’s supposed to be modeling. Yet Rachel Zoe and everyone on the panel fucking loved this picture. It even caused Tyra Banks to speak in a weird Jamaican accent. Which we honestly shouldn’t be surprised about, because that bitch is cray-cray.

2. BRITTANI (LW -8): And then there’s this. It’s flawless, elegant and downright sexy. After spending a good portion of yesterday flipping through old photos of Elizabeth Taylor, we’d even go as far to say that Brittani channeled ol’ school Hollywood glamour to some extent. On another note, she bears an odd resemblance to Katie Holmes in this particular shot. It’s freaking us out.

3. JACLYN (LW – 3): Too sexual or just sexual enough? We were less uncomfortable with the placement of Jaclyn’s right hand (which Tyra referred to as “freaky deaky”) than we were with the fact that she’s making a ‘gasm face as she straddles a baby jaguar.

4. MONIQUE (LW – 5): We became immediately skeptical of Monique when she revealed that she hates cats. Clearly, she is the lovechild of Satan. Just kidding! Her personality is actually growing on us. She ain’t a bitch. She’s just honest. Not to mention, she’s gooooooorgeous.

5. ALEXANDRIA (LW – 9): The judges didn’t give Alexandria enough credit. It wasn’t some coincidence that a baby jaguar roared in her face. She interacted with it in a way that none of the other contestants even attempted. It’s kind of impressive, yet slightly terrifying.

Speaking of which, one of ur favorite moment in this episode was when the eight remaining girls revealed their feelings on Alexandria. It was like that “One time she punched me in the face” montage from Mean Girls. Basically, this bitch is the living embodiment of Regina George. Vulnerability and all.

6. KASIA (LW – 1): Oh, hell to the no! With absolutely no disrespect to Kasia, everything about this picture is dreadful. The pose makes her look like a hunchback, and the cat is practically jumping out of her arms. Even her face, which is usually her strongest point, comes off as a total disaster. This is what the judges call lucking out? She deserved to be in the bottom two.

7. MIKAELA (LW – 7): We’re glad we’re not the only ones who were pissed that Mikaela’s name wasn’t called earlier. While responding to a question from a fan, the striking beauty took to her Tumblr page to express her dissatisfaction with the judge’s decision. Third from last? More like third place altogether.

8. MOLLY (LW – 6): Molly looks like she’s going to eat this cat. Having never experienced the tragedy of a bad weave (duh, all our weave experiences have been thoroughly positive), we can’t say we necessarily know where she’s coming from. But whatever. Poor girl! Get that thing off her head.

ELIMINATED: DALYA (LW – 4): It’s shocking how white this competition just became. Since moving over to the CW, the show has toned down the “beer weave” incidents overall. We’re not particularly surprised by how whitewashed it’s become… However, two black girls leave and that’s it? Did Tyra just give up on aiming for diversity?

Needless to say, Dalya was bound to go home sooner or later. As they scrolled through her portfolio at the end of the episode, it became wildly clear that she never lived up to her true potential. Rest assured, she left with a positive attitude–“I still made it to the top nine”. Er, keep telling yourself that.