Visiting friend asks: What’s all
over the floor under your desk?

“Don’t worry about it,” I reply.

I was gonna let this Trenton Ducati/Allen King smooshup pass without saying anything because the trailer seemed kinda eh, and the pics were eh, and the description was:

Trenton Ducati and Allen King are two names that don’t need introduction in the porn world anymore. They have been wanting to do this scene for a very long time now and finally it happened. Trenton and Allen were doing a camshow to promote Cockyboys’ newest feature – One Erection – and from the very beginning Trenton could not keep his hands off Allen. He would slowly undress him, kiss him, massage him, and do just about anything that involved physical contact. Allen of course loved every second of it. The attraction was totally mutual and it was obviously going to lead to something intense.

Which struck me as porn-speak for “they did a cam show and we filmed it and had this laying around. Here.”

But, because of my ongoing fixation with Trenton Ducati,

and my steady mandate that Allen King’s Balls need (nay, DESERVE) their own scene (I know you read this, Jake Jaxson. MAKE MY DREAM COME TRUE!)

I logged in to Cockyboys and watched it anyway.

I don’t know what to tell you guys. The first part, about the cam show was… eh. I get it. Cam shows. Woo. But the shit that happened in the stairwell and in whatever bedroom that was later… I’m. I’ve been struck dumb.

I’m just gonna play you the trailer and then say it was eleventy billion times better:

IT WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT STUPID TRAILER. CAPITAL LETTERS BETTER. I don’t even know what to say. I realize I say “I don’t know what to say” often. But I mean. THIS:

Look how sparkly his fucking eyes are! Look how his arm never stops jacking his OWN dick, off camera! And this:

This is my favorite fucking thing. This is all I want somebody to do. Fucking rub my hole/nuts while I jack off and smirk/nod. That’s it. I’m so easy to please.

AND THIS IS IT I’M FUCKING DONE:

If Justin Bieber or Beyonce made fuck videos, they would look like this. This looks like fuckin MONEY. These guys are beyond good looking, beyond attractive, and they’re slipping and sliding in and out of each other while smirking and winking with the kind of pro precision that Kylie Minogue brings to a disco track. You aren’t gonna beat this.

But goddamn if I’m not fucking ruining the hardwood floors under my desk over it.

Watch the full version here.