Tom Daley Pissed Us All Off By Not Showing Cock In His Leaked Vid

So the big news in gay celebrity gossip lately is British Olympic swimmer and famous twink Tom Daley having an illicit Snapchat vid leaked. I type “illicit” because it was meant for someone other than his fiance, Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black. Supposedly, during a 7-month-long break (that sounds like more of a break-up but who am I to say), Tom was sexting around with some other dude. As we tend to do cuz’ we’re horny fuckers and there’s no way any of us are going to go seven months without some dick in our lives, even if it’s digital. Anyway, the vid leaked and Tom had to come forward and explain. This is all very silly because it’s none of our business and, if they were on a break, what’s the big? The real scandal here is the video itself. IT’S NOTHNG. This is not “cybersex!” This is not “sexting!” This is not utilizing apps in the right way to show off your bod to its maximum potential! This is more like “waking up and scratching your nuts while you decide what to have for breakfast!”

Watch:

Is anyone else irritated as fuck by this little pocket gay blue-balling whomever the recipient was with this tease of a vid? Does this make anyone else think he might have leaked this himself for clickbait? I’m not sure what his next project is besides jumping off diving boards in a Speedo. But his fiance Dustin DOES have a miniseries about the gay rights movement coming out on ABC next month. You don’t think this is PR for that, do you? IF IT IS YOU ARE DEVILS AND SHOULD BE PUNISHED. If you’re going to be annoying, be annoying with some cock. Spread those cheeks and let us see the Olympic twink pucker. MAKE IT WORTH THE SACRIFICING OF OUR PATIENCE. (Can you tell I really want to see Tom Daley naked for some reason? I know, it’s odd. He’s not my normal type. It’s not like this is a Tom Hardy.)

Upon further research, this is supposedly only the INTRO and there is more on the way. But, if this is the PR stunt I think it might be, I wouldn’t get your boners up. Fuck you for this, Tom!

Michael Xavier