The Locker Room: Patrice Bergeron

It’s one of those times when everything comes together and the subject of this week’s “The Locker Room” is an athlete that just kicked some major ass! Patrice Bergeron is a Boston Bruin, and beloved here in Beantown for his skills and steadfastedness. If that’s even a word. Last night in game 7 against the Toronto Maple Leafs, Patrice did the following.

(I still don’t know why I write “The Locker Room” when I don’t have the sports gene. We really should start a feature about hot guys from soaps or Wonder Woman trivia.)

Anyway, here’s why Patrice is in the news today:

Trailing by three goals in the third period and still by two with less than 90 seconds left in their season, the Bruins scored twice in a span of 31 seconds to tie it and then eliminated the Maple Leafs on Patrice Bergeron’s goal at 6:05 of overtime to win 5-4 in Game 7 on Monday night.

Someone who’s into the jock stuff (“jock stuff” meaning professional sports as opposed to cock in a jockstrap. I’m totally into that kind.) will understand how awesome that is. If you know someone who knows jock stuff they can translate it for you. Anyway, it was wicked good and everyone’s talking about it today.

Patrice is French-Canadian straight from up north, and has also played in the Winter Olympics for Team Canada. He’s good all-around. He’s also hot. All swarthy with the sharp nose and the puppy-dog eyes and it’s fucking frustrating that hockey players don’t get naked more. You’ve got baseball players sexting their cock pics and hockey players are wearing 10 lbs. of gear. Ugh. Annoying.

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