The Locker Room (Monday Morning Edition): Chris Kluwe For Everything

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I have a new love. He’s a Viking from Minnesota. He’s “aw shucks” cute, funny as hell, and has no qualms about calling out homophobic dickfaces about their stupidity. His name is Chris Kluwe and he recently penned an open letter to a Maryland politician who called out Baltimore Raven Brendon Ayanbadejo for publicly supporting gay marriage.  Here’s state delegate Burns’ missive in full. Kluwe, rightly, gave Emmet what’s what in response. Here’s a few choice paragraphs.

Deadspin:

This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you’ll start thinking about penis? “Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!” Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)

– J. Harvey

For more of Chris’ diatribe (and pics of cool-ass Kluwe), follow the JUMP:

Oh, and our favorite part – “lustful cockmonsters”:

I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won’t even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?

By the way, Emmet Burns is black and I will say it – I still don’t fucking get how any person of color can’t see the correlation between their struggle for equal rights and ours. It galls me. Feel free to comment on that below. As for the arguments that we can pass as straight, I’m more than happy to tattoo “G” on my face or something if that helps.

Oh, and in closing:

I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I’m fairly certain you might need it.

Sincerely,
Chris Kluwe

P.S. I’ve also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your “I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing” and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. Asshole.

He’s my new straight hero.

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171 thoughts on “The Locker Room (Monday Morning Edition): Chris Kluwe For Everything

  1. gays are the only people that it is ok to be bigoted toward even other minorities justify their bigotry using religion ie blacks etc

  2. I think Kluwe’s letter is stunning. (I was posting it everywhere and defending his specific rhetorical style most of the day Saturday.) I think he’s a model both for refusing niceness and politeness in defending progressive causes, and also in how to be an ally. And, he’s also hot.

    As to the comment about people of color recognizing the similarity between the struggles for racial equalities and the struggle for sexual liberation, I completely agree that there are important analogies. There are also exceptionally important disanalogies. Just as queer people want people of color to understand the connections, I think queer people need to be caustious not to too quickly equate the two struggles, or commodify the earlier struggle for our own ends, or not be willing to recognize significant differences in history and contemporary contexts.

  3. I think Kluwe’s letter is stunning. (I was posting it everywhere and defending his specific rhetorical style most of the day Saturday.) I think he’s a model both for refusing niceness and politeness in defending progressive causes, and also in how to be an ally. And, he’s also hot.

    As to the comment about people of color recognizing the similarity between the struggles for racial equalities and the struggle for sexual liberation, I completely agree that there are important analogies. There are also exceptionally important disanalogies. Just as queer people want people of color to understand the connections, I think queer people need to be caustious not to too quickly equate the two struggles, or commodify the earlier struggle for our own ends, or not be willing to recognize significant differences in history and contemporary contexts.

  4. Really? The *only* people? Um, sure. Tell that to fat people, women, the disabled, the mentally ill, immigrants, people on public assistance. Bigotry and hatred of gay people is real and socially sanctioned, but trying to make it exceptional (or worse, or better) doesn’t get us anywhere. It’s not a competition.

  5. Really? The *only* people? Um, sure. Tell that to fat people, women, the disabled, the mentally ill, immigrants, people on public assistance. Bigotry and hatred of gay people is real and socially sanctioned, but trying to make it exceptional (or worse, or better) doesn’t get us anywhere. It’s not a competition.

  6. Oh look, the righteous voice of gay progressivism calling out social conservatives for their narrowmindedness. The same voice which has silenced internal dissent; the same voice which has ignored or downright opposed the legacy of forefathers like Harry Hay Jr. and Larry Kramer. The same voice who is against punishing victimless activities, but has nothing to say when men and women throughout the US are put on a public criminal record for life because the sexually aware, post-pubescent person they had consensual sex with wasn’t old enough to be in the army or to vote.

    The righteous voice which climbed the ladder of recognition along with those other voices back in the 70s, then kicked it away so it could glue itself to the mainstream political centre-left and join the Moral Majority’s bandwagon of ‘protect the children’, pushing for heteronormative benefits instead of pushing to divorce itself from heteronormativity.

  7. Oh look, the righteous voice of gay progressivism calling out social conservatives for their narrowmindedness. The same voice which has silenced internal dissent; the same voice which has ignored or downright opposed the legacy of forefathers like Harry Hay Jr. and Larry Kramer. The same voice who is against punishing victimless activities, but has nothing to say when men and women throughout the US are put on a public criminal record for life because the sexually aware, post-pubescent person they had consensual sex with wasn’t old enough to be in the army or to vote.

    The righteous voice which climbed the ladder of recognition along with those other voices back in the 70s, then kicked it away so it could glue itself to the mainstream political centre-left and join the Moral Majority’s bandwagon of ‘protect the children’, pushing for heteronormative benefits instead of pushing to divorce itself from heteronormativity.

  8. Oh look, the righteous voice of gay progressivism calling out social conservatives for their narrowmindedness. The same voice which has silenced internal dissent; the same voice which has ignored or downright opposed the legacy of forefathers like Harry Hay Jr. and Larry Kramer. The same voice who is against punishing victimless activities, but has nothing to say when men and women throughout the US are put on a public criminal record for life because the sexually aware, post-pubescent person they had consensual sex with wasn’t old enough to be in the army or to vote.

    The righteous voice which climbed the ladder of recognition along with those other voices back in the 70s, then kicked it away so it could glue itself to the mainstream political centre-left and join the Moral Majority’s bandwagon of ‘protect the children’, pushing for heteronormative benefits instead of pushing to divorce itself from heteronormativity.

  9. Oh look, the righteous voice of gay progressivism calling out social conservatives for their narrowmindedness. The same voice which has silenced internal dissent; the same voice which has ignored or downright opposed the legacy of forefathers like Harry Hay Jr. and Larry Kramer. The same voice who is against punishing victimless activities, but has nothing to say when men and women throughout the US are put on a public criminal record for life because the sexually aware, post-pubescent person they had consensual sex with wasn’t old enough to be in the army or to vote.

    The righteous voice which climbed the ladder of recognition along with those other voices back in the 70s, then kicked it away so it could glue itself to the mainstream political centre-left and join the Moral Majority’s bandwagon of ‘protect the children’, pushing for heteronormative benefits instead of pushing to divorce itself from heteronormativity.

  10. Oh look, the righteous voice of gay progressivism calling out social conservatives for their narrowmindedness. The same voice which has silenced internal dissent; the same voice which has ignored or downright opposed the legacy of forefathers like Harry Hay Jr. and Larry Kramer. The same voice who is against punishing victimless activities, but has nothing to say when men and women throughout the US are put on a public criminal record for life because the sexually aware, post-pubescent person they had consensual sex with wasn’t old enough to be in the army or to vote.

    The righteous voice which climbed the ladder of recognition along with those other voices back in the 70s, then kicked it away so it could glue itself to the mainstream political centre-left and join the Moral Majority’s bandwagon of ‘protect the children’, pushing for heteronormative benefits instead of pushing to divorce itself from heteronormativity.

  11. Oh look, the righteous voice of gay progressivism calling out social conservatives for their narrowmindedness. The same voice which has silenced internal dissent; the same voice which has ignored or downright opposed the legacy of forefathers like Harry Hay Jr. and Larry Kramer. The same voice who is against punishing victimless activities, but has nothing to say when men and women throughout the US are put on a public criminal record for life because the sexually aware, post-pubescent person they had consensual sex with wasn’t old enough to be in the army or to vote.

    The righteous voice which climbed the ladder of recognition along with those other voices back in the 70s, then kicked it away so it could glue itself to the mainstream political centre-left and join the Moral Majority’s bandwagon of ‘protect the children’, pushing for heteronormative benefits instead of pushing to divorce itself from heteronormativity.

  12. I completely agree with your critique of the marriage equality movement, Byron, as well as your critique of an incredibly staid and milquetoast LGBT (I intentionally omit the Q here) political mainstream. To me, though, the element to celebrate in Kluwe’s letter is the outrage. Not just saying to the narrowminded that they are narrowminded, but in an incredibly forceful rant to call bullshit (almost explicitly). Although the political goal being articulated is not one I care that much about, this specific political rhetoric is one I think the drag queens, trannies and dykes at Stonewall would have appreciated.

  13. I completely agree with your critique of the marriage equality movement, Byron, as well as your critique of an incredibly staid and milquetoast LGBT (I intentionally omit the Q here) political mainstream. To me, though, the element to celebrate in Kluwe’s letter is the outrage. Not just saying to the narrowminded that they are narrowminded, but in an incredibly forceful rant to call bullshit (almost explicitly). Although the political goal being articulated is not one I care that much about, this specific political rhetoric is one I think the drag queens, trannies and dykes at Stonewall would have appreciated.

  14. I completely agree with your critique of the marriage equality movement, Byron, as well as your critique of an incredibly staid and milquetoast LGBT (I intentionally omit the Q here) political mainstream. To me, though, the element to celebrate in Kluwe’s letter is the outrage. Not just saying to the narrowminded that they are narrowminded, but in an incredibly forceful rant to call bullshit (almost explicitly). Although the political goal being articulated is not one I care that much about, this specific political rhetoric is one I think the drag queens, trannies and dykes at Stonewall would have appreciated.

  15. I completely agree with your critique of the marriage equality movement, Byron, as well as your critique of an incredibly staid and milquetoast LGBT (I intentionally omit the Q here) political mainstream. To me, though, the element to celebrate in Kluwe’s letter is the outrage. Not just saying to the narrowminded that they are narrowminded, but in an incredibly forceful rant to call bullshit (almost explicitly). Although the political goal being articulated is not one I care that much about, this specific political rhetoric is one I think the drag queens, trannies and dykes at Stonewall would have appreciated.

  16. I completely agree with your critique of the marriage equality movement, Byron, as well as your critique of an incredibly staid and milquetoast LGBT (I intentionally omit the Q here) political mainstream. To me, though, the element to celebrate in Kluwe’s letter is the outrage. Not just saying to the narrowminded that they are narrowminded, but in an incredibly forceful rant to call bullshit (almost explicitly). Although the political goal being articulated is not one I care that much about, this specific political rhetoric is one I think the drag queens, trannies and dykes at Stonewall would have appreciated.

  17. I completely agree with your critique of the marriage equality movement, Byron, as well as your critique of an incredibly staid and milquetoast LGBT (I intentionally omit the Q here) political mainstream. To me, though, the element to celebrate in Kluwe’s letter is the outrage. Not just saying to the narrowminded that they are narrowminded, but in an incredibly forceful rant to call bullshit (almost explicitly). Although the political goal being articulated is not one I care that much about, this specific political rhetoric is one I think the drag queens, trannies and dykes at Stonewall would have appreciated.

  18. I don’t disagree with you; I just fail to see the relevance of it. If characteristics of rhetoric alone were the criteria, the hard left and hard right would get along just fine. I simply have no patience for hypocrisy.

    I don’t think it’s right to condemn bigotry, then present homosexuality as the mirror image of the heteronormative mold, except with two adult, preferably urban professional people of the same sex, with enough disposaible income to make the movement politically viable.

    I don’t think it’s right that, were their beautiful love story to have started today instead of 50 years ago, Don Bachardy and Christopher Isherwood would have been spat upon not only by people like Emmet Burns but by ILGA and GLAAD as well.

    I don’t think it’s right that to most gay people – particularly those fortunate enough to be addressed by gay rights as they are today – the West’s (and particularly America’s) draconian sex offender witch hunt is irrelevant. ‘I’ve got mine, screw you’.

    If gay rights can afford to have what are generally considered to be progressive views on economics, foreign policy and other issues of political concern, they can afford to speak out for the legal rights of transexuals. They can afford to not cater to an existing social mold. They can afford to point out how ridiculous it is to brand mentally ill child rapists and guys who fooled around with high school sophomores in the back of their car under the same category.

    It’s akin to the Civil Rights movement denying black culture and wishing merely to live peacefully with the same personal characteristics as their former slaveowners.

  19. Again, I agree with everything you’ve just said. (Although, to be fair, Larry Kramer has had some fairly awful things to say about “gay culture” and practices that you might want to celebrate/defend as a broader vision of sexual liberation.) In fact, all civil rights movements are complicated. There were plenty of advocates for racial equality that thought Black Power critiques were simply too radical, or impractical. While certain Black Power voices critiqued the model of integration in just the ways that you (and I) would critique mainstream political movements.

    Insofar as we’re thinking about this particular intervention, however, Kluwe makes no *positive* case for anything in particular. I don’t know what Kluwe’s case for a good relational-erotic economy is, and it might be more like the one you’re describing than anything else. (Although language about how if lesbian and gay people get their “rights” nothing fundamental will change always worries me.)

    In some ways, you’re quite right that the left and the right might be more similar than different when we start looking at rhetoric. What I would suggest–and why I like Kluwe’s letter–is that it is a liberal (not a progressive, or radical left) voice that is finally willing to trade in the vilifying rhetoric of even the moderate right. I actually think that progress is made when we realize that the battle is not going to be won through rational discourse–whatever end game we want to champion.

  20. Technically I have to agree. Does Kluwe make any points against my own beliefs? No. But his is an ironically passionate defense of a compromised position. As a straight guy, maybe he’s never given any thought to the possibility of other concerns and interests within LGBT issues, which is understandable. Maybe he’d agree with me if I made my case, and maybe he’d damn me to Hell as most other mainstream defenders of his position I have. My initial post was triggered by what I see as the contradiction between the position itself and what he’s done to defend it. I’d argue that other kinds of message ought to be given publicity, but they just aren’t there.

    It’s also hard to say whether there’s much of a moderate right in America. Mainstream European right-wing parties never make the storm in a teacup that the American Right has over these issues. David Cameron and other right-wing leaders in Europe are supportive of at least some currently understood ‘gay rights’, and these issues themselves aren’t polarizing.

    Nor do I think an advocacy for LGBTQ issues all across the board requires downright endorsement: it’s a matter of live and let live. If people are being prevented from living and letting others live, I think you should speak out (which gay rights haven’t done across the board). I don’t fully participate in queer culture myself – I believe there’s an extraordinarly rich legacy from the past that queer culture would benefit from, but hasn’t (how many gay people know who the Uranian Poets were?); I’m not even a progressive at all on many issues. But those aren’t reasons to wish to marginalize others for the sake of my own political clout. These people need a smaller dose of politics and a bigger dose of honesty. Kluwe is honest, but for all I know he might be either misinformed or have a double standard.

  21. And I think the marriage equality debate makes it incredibly difficult for progressive queers. Given that it is the conversation that the mainstream media will actually pay attention to, how does one enter the conversation, interrupt the conversation, use the conversation to one’s own ends. After all, given the kind of vitriolic ugliness that is spewed by homophobic douchebags as part of this conversation, staying silent can’t be an option. And, simply taking up the “we’re just like everyone else and we just want a chance to skp off into the sunset too” also doesn’t work. I think it’s a *genuine* challenge.

  22. And I think the marriage equality debate makes it incredibly difficult for progressive queers. Given that it is the conversation that the mainstream media will actually pay attention to, how does one enter the conversation, interrupt the conversation, use the conversation to one’s own ends. After all, given the kind of vitriolic ugliness that is spewed by homophobic douchebags as part of this conversation, staying silent can’t be an option. And, simply taking up the “we’re just like everyone else and we just want a chance to skp off into the sunset too” also doesn’t work. I think it’s a *genuine* challenge.

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