The Locker Room: Matt Kemp

Baseball season is upon us! It’s time for tasty players like Matt Kemp here to pull those tight baseball pants on and start squatting. Squatting to catch those grounders. Get your mind out of the gutter, you whores! Matt plays for the LA Dodgers and looks so stickable while doing it.

Matt here is beautiful, known as “The Bison” (because of his imposing size combined with his unusual speed not because he fucks like one), and used to date Rihanna. In fact, he dated Rihanna before she got hit by that douchebag twerp. How did she figure dropping Matt here for that guy? RiRi, no.

There’s no chance that this happens in the Dodgers locker room, is there?

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2012 ESPY Awards - Arrivals

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7 thoughts on “The Locker Room: Matt Kemp

  1. Rihanna is an idiot for passing up this man, but I’m also glad she did so I can have him. He’s fucking sexy.

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