The Locker Room: Australian Rugby Player Benn Robinson’s Beefy, Hairy Bum

After some deep thought, it occurred to me that Ben Cohen has never actually showed us his bare ass. The former rugby player, anti-bullying activist and perpetual gay eye candy has, yes, appeared in underwear that’s revealing enough to leave little to the imagination, but no, we have never seen his meaty rump jiggling in our faces and teasing us with the unfortunate heterosexuality of his butthole.

Why the fuck am I bringing this up? Because I made the mistake of mentioning Cohen had gone nude in my post about fellow rugger Paul Doran-Jones. One of you called me out on it, and while this would normally be the point where I go back to edit my original post and pretend I was right all along, I’m going to use this as a teaching moment. The worst teaching moment in the history of the internet.

Every picture you’ve seen of Ben Cohen’s bare ass is fake. Sorry.

I actually got pissed off when a site like Rugger Bugger tried to push this shot in their latest e-mail blast. Then, I became slightly less pissed when I was strolling through Manhunt‘s Tumblr feed and came across this glorious male specimen. And just to be one-hundred percent clear, “slightly less pissed” is modern slang for “I jizzed a jazzy load onto my own face as I thought about getting suffocated by those butt cheeks“.

Eventually, I was able to remove my hands from my dick long enough to do some research, discovering that the man in the photo was none other than Australian rugby player Benn Robinson. This 29 year-old cutie plays for the New South Wales Waratahs and previously competed on an international level with the Wallabies. He comes equipped with a warm smile, a cubbish physique and what can only be described with the popular internet vernacular, “DAT ASS”.

UPDATE: Photoshop strikes again! The fuzzy bum in the picture below belongs to muscle bear pinup model Rich McGunn. This is another one of those awful teaching moments where we all need to recognize that we can’t believe everything we see on the internet. I’ve learned my lesson (for now).

– Dewitt

Check out some pictures of Benn Robinson, including his hairy bum, below: