Tarzan (or Why You Shouldn’t Fuck In the Jungle)

Seriously. It’s the JUNGLE. Everything is filthy.


 

This one is a lot of story before they get to the parts where Luke Adams and Colton Grey do stuff with their dicks. So buck up and ride the wave:

Stranded ashore a lush tropical island, Luke Adams and Colton Grey cope with surviving the jungle by exploring each other’s dark dank holes. Colton readies Luke’s delicious cock with his warm wet mouth then opens his hole with his probing tongue before plunging his rock hard dick deep inside Luke’s eager ass. Luke returns the favor by fucking

Colton up against the palms of this tropical rainforest as a native resident watches from the bushes…

 

 

Here are my top questions about this, in order of occurrence:

  • Don’t describe a butthole as being “dank,” Men.com. I know that’s not a question, but seriously.
  • How did a boat, surrounded by water, clearly only a few hundred yards from shore, catch FIRE, exactly?
  • What happened? Did it explode? Are boats particularly explosive?
  • I appreciate the costumery here, but it’s a porn. You can’t show me some nuts swinging around under the loincloth?
  • They all drowned so close to shore that Tarzan could hear them in the jungle and then just walked them the short distance back to land?
  • “I tooold you I haaated sailing!” And I don’t have ANY questions about how I got from a boat on the ocean to the middle of a jungle clearing. Good thinking Luke. Way to utilize that situational awareness. You get eaten first.
  • Thank god for dicks and the fun stuff they can do, cause doesn’t these three on a boat “crossing the ocean” just sound like the worst way to spend time?
  • As someone who has had actual sex in an actual jungle (it doesn’t matter, don’t ask) I’m baffled by their inclination to take off ALL their clothes for this. And just rub their bodies on nature. That’s also not a question, except for maybe “Ew?”

 

Tarzan is gonna be a tough sell for me. I can just feel it. But I’m gonna do it. You know what? Let’s just do it right now. Here’s Part 2:

 

 

 

 

SEEE, now THAT’s what I came here for. Actual TARZAN fucking. And Diego Sans better win all of the awards for this one. This is his Birdman.

NOW I’m impressed.

 
You can see all your Tarzans, and your XXX-Mens, and your Captains America at Super Gay Hero now. 

 

– tyler

 

 

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