Secret Sex: Matthew McConaughey

People consider Matthew McConaughey to be “sexy”. You may not necessarily be one of those people, but I promise with every bone in my body that they exist. Frankly, I’ve never really fallen into this category. The appeal is relatively obvious–he’s got a great body. But what else is there to this guy?

In some of his films, he’s legitimately painful to watch on screen. I’ve never found him thoroughly charming in television appearances or red carpet interviews. While there isn’t anything I necessarily dislike about him, there isn’t that extra “oomph” to get me to the point of no return.

Even so, if this bitch walked up to me and said “stick it in”, there isn’t any chance in hell that I’d turn him down. Not because of some random desire to sleep with a celebrity. He’s on this threshold of hotness, just enough for me to get it up. Mostly, it comes down to two simple words–“dat ass”.

I wouldn’t even want to look him in the face. Honestly, while doing Matthew McConaughey, I’d prefer to not acknowledge that I’m doing Matthew McConaughey. It may come off as ridiculous that I’d “brown bag” one of the “Sexiest Men Alive”, but I simply can’t forgive him for that time my ex-boyfriend forced me to sit through the entirety of Failure To Launch. Maybe it’s a personal issue?

– Dewitt

To find out how flexible Matthew McConaughey is, follow the JUMP:

(via Aamyko)

489 thoughts on “Secret Sex: Matthew McConaughey

  1. I’m with Dewitt on this…though he has a rockin’ body, just personality-wise he turns me off.

  2. very average actor, but oh so doable. Great chest, I love him in that stupid perfume commercial

  3. He is hot in a redneck way but bad hygiene, with Keanu Reeves, and Brad Pitt, but I guess i could throw them all in the shower, lol

  4. you should try to get a screen capture from “a Time to Kill” where his sac is almost hanging out of his ripped jeans when he is squatting amidst the ruins of his burned out home waiting for his dog to return..lasts only a second, but the image is forever burned in my brain – especcially when beating off!

  5. Okay, good. I’m glad I’m not the only gay guy who looks at M.M. and thinks, yeah, he’s got a nice body and I know I’m supposed to like this but really…not so much.

  6. I don’t know about anybody else but “bad boys” or cocky guys make my dick hard. Makes me want to tear that hole up and make him scream like a bitch. Matthew could get it anytime.

  7. Sure, he has a great body and looks sexy when he’s clean shaven and under the right lighting; however, I just don’t find him at all appealing. He exploits his body as if everyone is seeing him as some sort of demigod. He may have a cute ass, but I’ll bet he has a tiny dick and balls—just speculating.

  8. I loved him in “Reign of Fire” with Christian Bale. He’s eye candy what else do you need from him? It’s not like any of us are gonna even ever fucking meet him.

  9. wow…look how wide he can throw his legs….i have to hold most guys ankles when they’re in that position!

  10. Body of death..and a great actor too. Love him, I’d go jogging with him anytime he would let me.

  11. His best movie: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Next Generation (Co-starring Renae Zellweger). He’s super duper sexy as a crazy person…

  12. when he was just starting out as an actor, in things like Boys on the Side… he was amazingly sexy on and off the screen.
    Now… whilst the body is amazing… theres just nothing else.

  13. If you haven’t seen Matt Damon’s impersonation of McConaughey, then you should definitely hunt it down on youtube. Hilarious.

  14. His body is good,not great, seen a lot better here on this site, and his arrogant attitude and personality make him very undesirable

  15. i am a fan of him great body and that accent. would worship his body and play with his ass.

  16. He’s living proof that a great body isn’t attractive with a unpleasant personality 😉

    Besides, it looks like he’s getting thick in the waist in his old age, lol.

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