Secret Sex: Kevin James

In regards to our Secret Sex column, I’ve tried to avoid featuring too many men of the bearish variety. And why would I ever do such a thing? Because I don’t want anyone to get the idea that lusting after men with extra padding is something you should be ashamed about.

So why the hell is Kevin James here? While I’d love to take the intellectual high road and say “he’s not funny”, this would be a total lie. There were moments when I laughed out loud watching The King of Queens, even though I was fully aware of the show’s tired schtick of “big dude with hot wife”. Not to mention that Mr. James looked damn sexy in that delivery uniform!

On the other hand, it’d be great if I could blame my shame on the terrible reviews for his new movie Grown Ups. But that’s just not the case either. When it all comes down to it, my feelings on this matter can be summed up with four words–Paul Blart Mall Cop. Even with a Segway and a mustache, I still wanted to hit that.

– Dewitt

To check out some shirtless pics of Kevin James, follow the JUMP: