This probably falls into the category of “more than enough information about you, J. Harvey!” but morning wood is my fiercest enemy in the morning.
Like most of you – I have to pee in the morning. Stumbling bleary-eyed to the bathroom, I go to pull it out and I HAVE A HUGE FUCKING ERECT THROBBING ROD. This does not help in peeing. On the contrary, it makes it almost impossible. Unfortunately, I don’t have a toilet the size of an Olympic swimming pool. I refuse to stand on my head to piss. And I have rejected the advice of friends to just “go in the shower.” GROSS.
So I have to stand there and think about grandmothers, women’s field hockey, and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named until my boner goes bye-bye and I can seek urinary relief. This has been a lifelong problem. ASAP Science hasn’t provided a better solution, but at least I know why it’s happening now.
– J. Harvey