He was sitting in the passenger seat of my car. COLBY FUCKING-BEEFY-PORN-GOD-DYNAMO-PISTON-TOP-BADONKA-DONK JANSEN of MEN.COM was IN MY CAR.
And he looked even hotter in person. He’s taller. And his arms. And he has an insane smile. And he smells really good. And seriously butch. He was wearing shorts and a tight black tank top and pointing out to me on his body where his most recent rugby game had caused some sore muscles.
How I was able to drive and not fall face-first into his lap, I will never know. The best thing?
[Ed. note – Besides the part where I got to rub SPF on his back. Truth. He requested it, and he grinned when he did. He knew rubbing lotion on his broad back was my dream come true. I would have rather had my other dream where Colby makes me his personal slut slave come true. But beggars and choosers and all that.]
He’s a REALLY nice guy. There isn’t a trace of snobbery or condescending behavior about him. He’s super-friendly and jock-ish without the dumb part. (Colby is whip-smart, and if you doubt me, ask him what he did for a career post-Marines and pre-porn.) He love, love, loves his wife (awww), and he’s obsessed with rugby. He confesses that he doesn’t think he has a porn body (WRONG).
He’s basically Captain America, crossed with a Boy Scout, crossed with a FUCK MACHINE. Yes, I’m swooning while typing this. Not only did he say something so sweet and down-to-earth during our conversation about how he finds all types of people attractive and how all of us are going to get old and fat someday, so dudes need to chill about judging on looks. But he also was so bashful and cute when he revealed to me that ** ** ***** ** ****** *******.
Wait, I can’t reveal that part. Off-the-record. For now. Oh, just you wait.
I know, you’re sickened by my worship. But you hang out with him and dare to tell me I’m wrong!
– J. Harvey
P.S. Special thanks to MEN.COM! (Want to write their next scene?)
Check out my exclusive two-part interview with Colby Jansen below:
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why do you promote so many unattractive men
I would sell my soul to the devil if I could make undressing Vine clips with Colby Jansen. So adorable. ew not a fan of the first comment.
Cuz’ you weren’t available. Cunt.
I TOOK THOSE VINES!
I wish I could fist bump you for that. What a kickass response to such a dumbass question.
Colby is adorable, very hot guy and love his attitude.
He doesn’t need to “try”, he’s naturally sexy.
I find it funny that the bitter trolls who bitch about unattractive men usually have no photo of themselves. Hell…I am not the best looking guy but I own it and love that EVERYONE is hot to somebody (just in the case of the troll above, he may have to br gagged)
if this is what u find ‘unattractive’ it worries me as to what u find hot hehe…..anyways colby hot as ever so perdy….
His smile alone is just so attractive.
Handsome man. Charming and sympathetic. I think he is in his prime.
Do you need to express yourself with vulgar language ?….I’m entitled to my opinion ….
sexy ….where ….and he is trying ….
Colby, you are gorgeous and I love your body!!! You are everything I want in a top and I only hope you never succumb to the money that MEN.com throws at you to bottom on film. There is nothing wrong with you being a total top and there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look regardless of what the hasty hateful Queens on this site say about you. You are gorgeous and I will watch any movie you are in (unless you bottom). Love you Colby!!!!
Not to burst your bubble, honey, but Colby has already bottomed. Quite a bit.
Are you new here? Yes, yes I do.
*sound of incorrect buzzer going off*
And what, you want a medal?
You did burst his bubble, HONEY.
When did everyone become fucking bitter queens around here? Jesus Christ.
Not sure what you read as “bitter” there. I was merely stating a fact. Colby Keller is not, nor has he ever been, a total top.
Here’s where to pin it.
How have I only just seen this!?
Colby is one mighty hunk!
The vines are gone. Sadness…