Let Me Bang You While We Listen To Marlene’s “Bon Voyage”.

This might be the gayest thing I’ve ever admitted, but one of my deepest fantasies involves making an extremely goofy, choreographed amateur sex tape. I’m talking, like, each thrust into my partner’s ass set to the rhythm of the beat, crazy interpretative dance moves and exaggerated facial expressions that indicate how self-aware we are of this concept’s ridiculousness. There might even be costumes involves. Or hats, at the very least.

My biggest issue in making this happen has been finding a man who—a) I’m comfortable enough sharing this fantasy with, b) I’m sexually compatible with, and c) I’m confident enough has the right sense of humor and similarly eclectic taste in music to pull this off… Though there are a few people who entered the Manhunt Daily Twerking Contest who might be good candidates.

If this sounds like something that appeals to you, you should listen to this song:

Now, despite the fantasy I mentioned above, I’m not usually one to create sex playlists (or “playlusts” as one hot, bearded Twitter follower recently put it). If I were, Marlene‘s “Bon Voyage” would be the soundtrack to me doing you up the butt. The verses seductively pulse for slow, deep motions, and then the pace picks up on the chorus, allowing for harder pounding and swirling hips to hit all the right spots.

I’m not even sure if that last sentence made sense, because I was too busy humping the air in front of my desk chair and pretending it was your ass. This song is like Lykke Li thrown into the washing machine with my favorite ’90s R&B sex jams and an electro-pop filter, except nobody bothered to separate the colors, and they all leaked onto one another and got pregnant with my semen. Pretend that made sense. Or head over to MuuMuse for a solid, much more cohesive review.

(Or stay here and watch some porn.)

– Dewitt

Photo credit: Corbin Fisher

Hit the play button above and imagine us doing things like this together: