Justin Bieber In The Best Softcore Faux-Lesbian Porno of The Year

Jokes about Justin Bieber looking like a lesbian are so played out, but really, how can you watch his new music video and not think about it? The pint-sized singer has basically appropriated every aspect of lesbian culture, right down to the style, swagger and dance moves. For better or worse, he’s doing what Madonna did to LGBT ball culture with 1990’s “Vogue” by thrusting lesbian romance into every single American household.

Is Justin Bieber the number one lesbian icon of 2013 or all of human history? Or is he an entitled culture rapist who deserves to fade into relevance? It’s impossible to say! You should probably ask a real lesbian, because I’m still confused that vaginas can do things like this or this.

All that matters (to me) is that the music video for “All That Matters” is vaguely sexy in ways that confuse my dick. I’m not looking at Justin Bieber and thinking that I want him to throw me up against a wall and plow me up the ass. I’m not looking at Justin Bieber and thinking that I want to devour his tiny ass and ram my shaft deep inside of him… But I might be looking at Justin Bieber and thinking that I’d jerk off to a lesbian porno starring him? This is starting to become problematic (and even more confusing), so I’ll just quit while I’m behind.

– Dewitt

Watch Justin Bieber in the best softcore lesbian porno of the year below:

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