Jason Alexander Gives Great Apology

You never thought he would end up here on Manhunt Daily, did you? Jason Alexander will forever be remembered as Seinfeld’s George Constanza. But even a talented actor can go astray when he opens his mouth on a talk show. He was on Craig Ferguson recently and did a whole bit about how the sport of cricket is “gay”. Well, that was kinda lame. Anyway, he wrote a HELLUVA an apology. It’s after the break. It’s just nice to see someone admit he was contributing to a problem and to say he was sorry for it. What do you think? Were people who complained overreacting, or did Jason do the right thing?

– J. Harvey (via Towleroad)

To read Jason Alexander’s apology, Follow the JUMP:

Last week, I made an appearance on the Craig Ferguson show – a wonderfully unstructured, truly spontaneous conversation show. No matter what anecdotes I think will be discussed, I have yet to find that Craig and I ever touch those subjects. Rather we head off onto one unplanned, loony topic after another. It’s great fun trying to keep up with him and I enjoy Craig immensely.

During the last appearance, we somehow wandered onto the topic of offbeat sports and he suddenly mentioned something about soccer and cricket. Now, I am not a stand-up comic. Stand up comics have volumes of time-tested material for every and all occasions. I, unfortunately, do not. However, I’ve done a far amount of public speaking and emceeing over the years so I do have a scattered bit, here and there.

Years ago, I was hosting comics in a touring show in Australia and one of the bits I did was talking about their sports versus American sports. I joked about how their rugby football made our football pale by comparison because it is a brutal, no holds barred sport played virtually without any pads, helmets or protection. And then I followed that with a bit about how, by comparison, their other big sport of cricket seemed so delicate and I used the phrase, “ a bit gay”. Well, it was all a laugh in Australia where it was seen as a joke about how little I understood cricket, which in fact is a very, very athletic sport. The routine was received well but, seeing as their isn’t much talk of cricket here in America, it hasn’t come up in years.

Until last week. When Craig mentioned cricket I thought, “oh, goody – I have a comic bit about cricket I can do. Won’t that be entertaining?”. And so I did a chunk of this old routine and again referred to cricket as kind of “gay” – talking about the all white uniforms that never seem to get soiled; the break they take for tea time with a formal tea cart rolled onto the field, etc. I also did an exaggerated demonstration of the rather unusual way they pitch the cricket ball which is very dance-like with a rather unusual and exaggerated arm gesture. Again, the routine seemed to play very well and I thought it had been a good appearance.

Shortly after that however, a few of my Twitter followers made me aware that they were both gay and offended by the joke. And truthfully, I could not understand why. I do know that humor always points to the peccadillos or absurdities or glaring generalities of some kind of group or another – short, fat, bald, blonde, ethnic, smart, dumb, rich, poor, etc. It is hard to tell any kind of joke that couldn’t be seen as offensive to someone. But I truly did not understand why a gay person would be particularly offended by this routine.

However, troubled by the reaction of some, I asked a few of my gay friends about it. And at first, even they couldn’t quite find the offense in the bit. But as we explored it, we began to realize what was implied under the humor. I was basing my use of the word “gay” on the silly generalization that real men don’t do gentile, refined things and that my portrayal of the cricket pitch was pointedly effeminate , thereby suggesting that effeminate and gay were synonymous.

But what we really got down to is quite serious. It is not that we can’t laugh at and with each other. It is not a question of oversensitivity. The problem is that today, as I write this, young men and women whose behaviors, choices or attitudes are not deemed “man enough” or “normal” are being subjected to all kinds of abuse from verbal to physical to societal. They are being demeaned and threatened because they don’t fit the group’s idea of what a “real man” or a “real woman” are supposed to look like, act like and feel like.

For these people, my building a joke upon the premise I did added to the pejorative stereotype that they are forced to deal with everyday. It is at the very heart of this whole ugly world of bullying that has been getting rightful and overdue attention in the media. And with my well-intentioned comedy bit, I played right into those hurtful assumptions and diminishments.

And the worst part is – I should know better. My daily life is filled with gay men and women, both socially and professionally. I am profoundly aware of the challenges these friends of mine face and I have openly advocated on their behalf. Plus, in my own small way, I have lived some of their experience. Growing up in the ‘70’s in a town that revered it’s school sports and athletes, I was quite the outsider listening to my musical theater albums, studying voice and dance and spending all my free time on the stage. Many of the same taunts and jeers and attitudes leveled at young gay men and women were thrown at me and on occasion I too was met with violence or the threat of violence.

So one might think that all these years later I might be able to intuit that my little cricket routine could make some person who has already been made to feel alien and outcast feel even worse or add to the conditions that create their alienation. But in this instance, I did not make the connection. I didn’t get it.

So, I would like to say – I now get it. And to the extent that these jokes made anyone feel even more isolated or misunderstood or just plain hurt – please know that was not my intention, at all or ever. I hope we will someday live in a society where we are so accepting of each other that we can all laugh at jokes like these and know that there is no malice or diminishment intended.

But we are not there yet.

So, I can only apologize and I do. In comedy, timing is everything. And when a group of people are still fighting so hard for understanding, acceptance, dignity and essential rights – the time for some kinds of laughs has not yet come. I hope my realization brings some comfort.

Thanks,
Jason

26 thoughts on “Jason Alexander Gives Great Apology

  1. Well, I always imagined Jason Alexander to be a bit filled with himself and an asshole, whether offstage and not depicting such a character, or on…

    This only proves that at the least he is filled with himself, and the rest you all can decide for yourselves~ 

    Nice try Jason, but you can’t change your gene pool and upbringing!!!

  2. It takes a real man(in mind and soul)  to appologise, thanks Jason. some men like woman,some like men(the same with woman) and its all about choices. i dint see u as a predigous person

  3. I see no reason he has to apologize.  He was just trying to be amusing and meant no harm.
    Everyone is so “PC” that we can’t sit back and see the humor in life. We have to tread on eggshells on every subject.  Just silly!!

  4. Just like Jason didn’t, others who have posted just don’t “get it.”  I’m glad he now does! No, you can’t change your gene pool and upbrining but you can change your attitude and understanding.  A sincere and eloquent apology if there ever was one!

  5. Come on, Dewitt- “a HELLUVA an apology”? one too many words there I think, or maybe it should be “HELLUVAN”? You guys really need to pay attention when writing these things, lest we be convinced that gay writers/editors really are illiterate!

  6.  some men like “woman”? That should be “women”. And so should the next “woman”. “dint” and “predigous” are just wrong, completely! can we please pay attention to what we are writing here? and if English isn’t your primary language, get some help! I would if I was trying to write in another language.

  7. and Mr. Alexander- ” I’ve done a far amount of public speaking”? “Fair”, perhaps, but not far. And ” seeing as their isn’t much talk of cricket”- there, possibly, but never “their”. The rest of his dissertation is absolutely wonderful.

  8. What’s with the supposedly beefcake (gag) style pic of JA? Does anybody think this is sexy? The picture is SO wrong in so many ways…….even if it’s a joke, it’s a sad one.

  9. I love this apology, because he acknowledges that the joke in itself had no malice, which I’m sure it didn’t, but also recognized the vulnerable (and let’s face it, irrational) position many young people are in.  He got this one right.

  10. To those of you not getting it or thinking the rest of us are too sensitive, try inserting another word for “gay” in that sentence, such as “that’s so Black” or “that’s so Latino.”  Does that make it any clearer for you why using a word that identifies a particular group in a derogatory manner is not cool?  And by saying something is “so gay” the speaker is indeed demeaning us as a community.  It has nothing to do with being too PC or overly sensitive and has everything to do with gaining respect for the word “gay” and for all gay people.

  11. I’m a gay man and I use that term “that’s so gay” all the time. So many bigger issues to worry about and this is the best we can do? Really?

    I wish I was straight!!! 

  12. No…you don’t get it…He is a very caring actor and a friend to “our community.”  I object to the use of the word “gay” to “stupid,” “dumb,” or “wrong” …. terms of negativity.  However, I saw the bit, and I agreed with him…cricket is rather “gay” just like tiny swimsuits or far-forward fashion choices or obsessing over Judy Garland (in another era) would be appropriately termed “gay.”

    Gay can be an acceptable adjective, and some people might disagree with it’s usage in any particular case.  However, disagreement does not mean discrimination.

    I think his apology explores the issue thoughtfully and clearly, but I don’t think it was even necessary.

  13. He is a very caring actor and a friend to “our community.” I object to the use of the word “gay” to mean “stupid,” “dumb,” or “wrong” …. terms of negativity. However, I saw the bit, and I agreed with him…cricket is rather “gay” just like tiny swimsuits or far-forward fashion choices or obsessing over Judy Garland (in another era) would be appropriately termed “gay.”

    Gay can be an acceptable adjective, and some people might disagree with it’s usage in any particular case. However, disagreement does not mean discrimination.

    I think his apology explores the issue thoughtfully and clearly, but I don’t think it was even necessary.

  14. Wow, you need to calm down. If you knew to correct him, that means you were smart enough to understand him. Everyone’s not a scholar. Bring it down. I’m really tired of you elitist guys that like to feel superior over something as minuscule as spelling (or possibly, mind you this is a guess, typo’s 0.O.)

  15. Washed-up actor trying to force a spotlight. How many times we have to be “used”  by dumb bitches  for the sake of publicity?

  16. There is no excuses for his action. The comment has the same weight regardless of who says and it is double standard to try to separate him from the comment.  As a gay man I’m not going to allow myself to be a subject of anyone’s ridicule (including him), so he better watch out his mouth before he spread the contagious disease of hate. The next time before I fucking say “gay” he better look himself on the mirror and see how fucked up he is.

  17. That kind of petty, picky, belittling is so gay – in it’s very most pejorative sense.

  18. Very minor infraction. Unintended offense. Took the time and energy to pursue its implications. Thoughtful, well-worded apology. Forgiven and redeemed. New fan here.

  19. Shall we get started on your grammatical issues as well? Or are you going to get that help?

  20. An eloquent apology. People have every right to take offense. But there is another minority that has a right to offense. Cricket lovers everywhere. Cricket is in no way whatsoever a genteel sport. It’s brutal. Balls, as hard as baseballs, fly at batsmen at the same speed as a baseball pitch, with the added variation of bounce. Hitting the batsman in the head is not avoided but sometimes a strategy. Not like that  walk-the-batter stuff that characterizes America’s favorite pastime. And no gloves for fielders. Maybe, by “gay,” JA inadvertently meant so damned masculine as to put the damned straights to shame. 

  21. I guess I’m part of the problem, because I’ve used gay in the same way Jason did. I know it’s not politically correct, but…

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