I’ve Never Done This Before: Topher DiMaggio’s Bottoming Debut

There’s no polite way to say this. Topher DiMaggio is the worst bottom in the short history of MEN.COM‘s “Top To Bottom” series. He spends less than four minutes with his boyfriend Lance Luciano‘s dick up his ass, and within that short period of time, he manages to make Tony Paradise look like a raging power bottom.

There are, maybe, one or two seconds where he makes an attempt to look like he’s enjoying himself, and even that’s a stretch when you take into consideration his acting “skills”. He is just plain, stinking miserable, and it shows with every awkward movement and pained facial expression. You gotta give MEN.COM credit for convincing Topher to do this in the first place, but I don’t think anyone could have foreseen how uncomfortable the final product would turn out.

And yet I highly recommend watching it.

Hear me out on this one! Some things are so bad that you need to see them, and Topher’s bottoming debut is the 2013 gay porn world equivalent of Miley‘s VMA performance. If you don’t currently have a MEN.COM membership—and don’t possess the means or interest to take advantage in any of their huge XXXmas discounts—I would urge you to go here, click the nifty blue button in the upper right corner, get a one day trial for $1 and join the rest of us as we witness this mess. It should be noted that, for all my criticism, the view isn’t exactly terrible:

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom 14

The funniest (or saddest) thing about this scene is that this is supposed to be Topher’s gift to Lance. Nothing says “thank you for the expensive watch” better than (technically less than) four minutes of grouchy, unenthusiastic bottoming… I mean, really?!?!?! You might as well have just thrown a gift card to Taco Bell in his face. I don’t care if he was waiting for 70,000 years to get your ass! If you’re gonna give it to him, you better practice with a dildo (or another man) and do it right.

Keep in mind, this is only my personal take on the scene! Some of you might prefer the “reluctant bottom” angle over the effort performers like Paddy O’Brian or Colby Jansen put into their “Top To Bottom” offerings. Maybe, for you, it’s a turn-on to know that Topher is a real total top and, with that in mind, you can watch a scene like this and appreciate him even more. I’m trying to be open-minded here, but uh…

You really have to see it for yourself.

– Dewitt

Photo credit: MEN.COM

Check out some new pics and watch the awkward trailer (again) below:

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Topher DiMaggio bottoms for his boyfriend Lance Luciano on gay porn site Top To Bottom.

Sign up for MEN.COM now, and get a whole year for $8.33/month!

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25 thoughts on “I’ve Never Done This Before: Topher DiMaggio’s Bottoming Debut

  1. Then again, perhaps his boyfriend is just a really bad TOP, making the experience less than pleasurable…just a thought…there are some TERRIBLE Tops out there who just “stick it in” and call that Topping…

  2. Anyone else notice that there is fewer than a dozen ornaments on that lame Christmas tree? Oh, wait . . . is there some sex going on too?

  3. Topher is too plastic and queenie, IMHO, so I wasn’t even looking forward to this. I have a men.com membership — and didn’t even bother downloading it. But there were some people who wanted to see it — and I’m sure they are disappointed, but it is what it is. It’s interesting that most of the tops who bottomed really seemed to get into it (I doubt that many, if any were anal virgins). You can really prove your masculinity by taking it.

  4. You’re right! Instead of looking like a guy who’s having passionate sex, Topher just looks like he’s shitting out a grown man!–lol–

  5. if he bottoms anything like how he tops its sure to be a insanely boring scene!!!…..ust doesnt do anything for me the eye brow plucking is way too extreme lol

  6. This scene is terrible and a joke with that “flip flop” scenario.
    Topher getting fucked lasts 3 minute, then he flips the other queen and fuck him like in his 12 8977987 other scenes.
    Both are very bad tops.
    The top to bottom series was going well so far, and this definitely lowers the standard

  7. pretty uneventful scene… Should have been a gang bang of the other guys he had topped in other scenes. now that would have been worth watching.

  8. Awe come on guys. He wasn’t bad. And watching a top bottom is always hot, no matter what expressions he has on his face. The scene could have been longer but given the circumstances I understand why it had to be short. I think Topher is great for having even tried.

  9. They are indeed very beautiful men… Gorgeous alone and especially stunning face to face. I hope that they’re very happy.
    I have yet to see the scene but that clip of Topher doing his booty dance made me swoon hard!! I could never “blow a load” to a scene of him topping but apparently I could get aroused enough to just watching him dance..mmm.

  10. Wow you are so right in your assessment of this scene. I have always found Topher to be a boring top and did have hopes that like Liam Magnusen he would be a better bottom. Now I’m just convinced he is an awful lay. He has always seemed more into himself than his partner and it’s so telling that here he gets his 3 minutes of uncomfortableness in a mirror.

  11. As for Lance not being a top: he got it up and kept it up throughout, so what’s the problem? If Topher looks less than thrilled to have a cock up his ass, I ask again, “What’s the problem?” The feature is “Top to Bottom” and I never took that to mean the top in question was suddenly converted body and soul to a bottom. If it looks like the guy is being raped, what’s wrong with that? Personally, seeing Topher pronged is pretty fine, especially from below, where, incidentally, he didn’t look all that pained.

  12. Both of these guys are incredible looking, very sexy pornboy packages…but it’s hotter to see a guy flip when he loves it, or pretends to… like Brad Patton, Jason Adonis, Matthew Rush, Tom Chase, and the king of the whores Jeff Palmer… all of whom finally spread those hot top man asses and took it like the pros they are, greedy, erect, hungry for big hard cocks in their (probably not) virgin holes.

  13. Topher isn’t all that at all. I wouldn’t date a guy who only tops. It’s fucking stupid! I love that my boyfriend and I are versatile.

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