Instahot: lawrencelondon

#tbt Look, I used to be able to see my abs and not my current pizza gunt (that's when your fat gut extends all the way to your cunt) which paradoxically I'm too self conscious to show here yet I'm audaciously charging $300/hour or more to jiggle that piggy porky paunchy delight (or free of charge to those who want to degrade me so atrociously that I buckle with arousal under the pressure of my own self loathing). On a lighter note, I've decided to remain single indefinitely. Hurrah. No more pathetic relationship drama posts from me! It's definitely NOT because I'm a weird, confrontational, hyper-sensitive loner who finds it profoundly impossible to connect with or understand any other gay guys in any way whatsoever. No, no, that can't be the reason. It can't be me. It must be everyone else, K. Love ya x

A post shared by Lawrence (@lawrencelondon) on Jul 6, 2017 at 3:27pm PDT

Anon cum dump available now. Masc (Fem), GL (ugly as fuck), discreet (highly conspicuous), DDF (riddled and tweaking the fuck out on T). Door open, you walk in (Kylie remix is playing). I'm blindfolded (but peeking and giggling), naked (except for my barbie jockstrap), ass up. Fuck me hard, load my ass and go (aka you spend 20 minutes trying to get your limp dick hard before I lose patience and ask you to leave. You fuck off back to the "love of your life" and act like normal. I go back to painting my toe nails and waiting for my next punter). Send stats and clit pic.

A post shared by Lawrence (@lawrencelondon) on Jun 24, 2017 at 7:11am PDT

I love kissing. And right now I'm really missing a good kiss with someone that I like. It's a beautiful way of connecting and it obviously feels incredible. I'm not ashamed to say that I wish I had someone to kiss me every single day. Feeling the warmth of someone so close, the perfect caress that can start gentle and loving and intensify into something profoundly deep and intoxicating. I'm a sensitive guy so I love being kissed softly and slowly. But I also love those times when a kiss is rough and intense with passion, desire and even aggression. Whenever I kiss someone I feel connected to them. I can sense what they're feeling and I respond to their body language to try to heighten the pleasure. Kissing is obviously an incredibly intimate act that if done right can really turn a relationship into something truly magical. And, although being single means I don't kiss every day (I don't even kiss every month!), I'm able to kiss different people from time to time and improve my technique and my ability to read the other person and blow their mind. When I finally settle down with someone I expect that the art of kissing will play a big role in our happiness as I think that kissing each other with LOVE can transport us to new levels of ecstasy. To give and receive that much pleasure will make me a very, very happy man. Sorry, did I say kiss? I meant fist.

A post shared by Lawrence (@lawrencelondon) on Jun 7, 2017 at 1:56pm PDT

Not allowed to show my cock apparently. Bore off you facist pigs. – Anyway, If I see another Circuit Festival t-shirt or Madrid Pride vest I'm going to FUCKING. PUKE. I don't get it. Where are these guys getting them from?? Do I want one? Am I cool enough? Is it a new fashion I'm missing out on? FUCK! I wish I was that cool and sexy. Puke. Is the #circuitfestival tag getting them more followers? I need more followers!! Puke. I think I'm going to get a t-shirt saying 'Bognor Regis Judy Garland Festival17' or 'Berlin scat weekend17' instead. These t-shirts remind me of my 6 year old niece going to her first Myley Cyrus concert and wearing the merchandise. She's a fucking spoilt brat. Like me. If I get one I will become power crazed and ask people "R U REDDY 4 CIRCUIT!?" Even though it's only fucking May! (For some reason it will also make me completely illiterate). Puke. I actually almost got myself one of those Pride vests… But I realised I'd prefer to just vomit into my own lap and shit my pants and then wipe that mixture all over my entire body and wear that to the gym instead. Much cheaper and definitely more chic. – While I go and stick my fingers down my throat here are some other t-shirt ideas for this year: Gay rights in Chechnya17 Dump Trump17 Democracy in Venezuela17 Free Tibet17 The Arctic is fucking MELTING!17 End poverty? End hunger? HAHAHAHA Just kidding! Who cares about that stupid boring crap!? I decided on "where's the chill-out party?17". And I really can't wait for the international wife-swap convention aka #madridpride #circuitfestival. I'm actually warming up my pipe as we speak (no that's not a euphemism). Love from your un-friendly neighbourhood #circuitglambassador PUKE.

A post shared by Lawrence (@lawrencelondon) on May 14, 2017 at 10:14am PDT

single men only single men only single men only single men only go single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only and single men only single men only fuck single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only your single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only bf single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only or single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only someone single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only else single men only ffs single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only just single men only single men only single men only single men only leave single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only me single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only alone single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only single men only please ??

A post shared by Lawrence (@lawrencelondon) on May 12, 2017 at 6:13pm PDT

Almost every guy I spend time talking with or getting to know from insta turns out to either have a boyfriend OR have such a delusional image of himself that you can bet that he's almost the exact opposite of everything he thinks and says he is. The curse of Instagram? The ultimate ego app. Everyone here is a fucking egolunatic? Well, me fucking more. Ok, probably I'm taking it a little seriously (as usual). I got some stick about my last post because some guys don't want to know about my relationship woes. But quelle surprise – all of the complaints came from guys with boyfriends ? Exclusively! (if you pardon the gut-bustlingly hilarious choice of word). Yawwn. Maybe to please everyone who's sick of my whiny bullshit my new mantra will be either #lovinglife, #blessed, #placetobe or limit my rhetoric to some other vomit inducing cliche crap like "so this happened" or "with this one" ?? or "about last night". Ugh. Here's another photo of my ass then.

A post shared by Lawrence (@lawrencelondon) on May 4, 2017 at 2:08pm PDT

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A post shared by Lawrence (@lawrencelondon) on Apr 22, 2017 at 11:26am PDT

#TUT Throw up Thursday – to a time long, long ago, around last week, when I had less Instagram followers, and (by any modern social understanding) as a result, was less of a person. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that former me and talk to him softly and tell him of the glory days ahead. I would say 'hay girl… the security guard is watching you oik that alarm tag off of that bottle of Campari and it's really not worth the grief you're about to get so put it down and listen up… one day soon you'll get all of the validation your hungry ego desires and you will finally be happy because more people follow you than some other people you know (and who you don't really like that much) so that will bring you comfort and joy knowing that you are better than them'. And I'd tease him with a delicate French kiss before giving him one almighty man slap across his greedy fucking dirty cum guzzling pig whore face. And then kiss-my-teeth and tell him to 'get his fucking shit together' before turning and exiting dramatically (I expect I'll need a cape for that part). Btw, please tell me I'm pretty. The intoxication of your previous validations is wearing off and I'm getting the needy shakes. #btw #tut #tbt #knowyourfuckingacronyms

A post shared by Lawrence (@lawrencelondon) on Mar 23, 2017 at 12:21am PDT

Finally I feel closer to fulfilling my life's purpose of fully objectifying myself and becoming a desperate attention seeking social media slut from hell. Thank you for all your support ❤️

A post shared by Lawrence (@lawrencelondon) on Feb 21, 2017 at 4:18pm PST