Ian Thorpe: Why Do We Refuse To Believe It When A Guy Tells Us He’s Straight?

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Answer – cuz’ they’re usually lying. HAH! No, really. Australian swimming sensation and multiple gold medalist Ian Thorpe (aka “The Thorpedo) has a memoir coming out, and is doing the usual press junket. One of the more prevalent questions he’s being faced with is the “are you sure you don’t suck cock?” one. Thorpe, who has identified himself as a heterosexual numerous times in the past, is still having to identify himself as hetereosexual.

The Huffington Post:

“Yeah, look, the thing that I find hurtful about it is that people are questioning kind of my integrity and what I say,” Thorpe said. “That’s the only part that I find hurtful. Like is that, you know, this is something that I would be embarrassed about, that I would hide or whatever else.”

He also clarified, “I don’t want to offend anyone that, you know, whether they’re people [who] have friends that are gay or whatever else, I don’t want to offend them by…getting angry about it, getting frustrated about it. The only part that I’m frustrated with is that people think that I’m lying.”

Ok, ok. We get it. We also understand you sounding all defensive. If everyone was insisting that I liked to eat pussy, I’d be annoyed, too. I DON’T like to easy pussy. Keep your hetero-normative bullshit to yourself, right?

But…there’s always that little voice in the back of our heads that doesn’t want to hear Ian claim that he’s straight. Keep reading for some reasons why we (meaning the gay community) might think like that.

– J. Harvey

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1. Ian Thorpe “looks” and “acts” gay.

Stereotypes! He’s cute, takes care of himself, dresses well, is demonstrative with his hands, and his voice is a little high. He’s obviously taking it in the seat from another guy. Hold up.  If it walks like a duck….isn’t there still a chance it’s a chicken?

Should we be hating the labels we’re always forcing on each other?  Or are we fooling ourselves by thinking that there’s not a grain of truth in every stereotype?

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2. Ian Thorpe has to be gay cuz’ we can’t deal with a hot guy being even the slightest bit unavailable.

That way lies madness, but there is something a bit accurate about it. Do we see every hot guy as a challenge? And is the idea that a hot guy might be completely unattainable sort of perturbing so we have to shade him as closeted?

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3. In his new memoir, Ian Thorpe talks about his struggles with alcohol and depression. Those must have been caused by being a self-loathing closetcase.

I don’t know about you. But I know A SLEW of gay guys who have had issues with the booze and the blues. Being a homo born into a hetero-based society can screw a guy up. It’s kind of easy to draw a line through all of those and assume Ian was down and self-medicating to deal. Yes, J., but there a hundreds of thousands of depressive alcoholics out there that aren’t into dudes. True that.

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4. Ian Thorpe is staying in the closet cuz’ of his athletic career and endorsements.

“We came out. We withstood all the slings and arrows of coming out. Ian Thorpe is gay, probably rich from endorsements he gained by being perceived as a “straight” athlete, and not being open about it. How come he gets to do that? FUCK HIM. – Angry Gays

Being an out gay man sometimes results in what I like to call “high horse syndrome.” It’s when we forget what it was like being in the closet, how terrified we were, and how we had to work ceaselessly to structure our lives around keeping a secret that we thought would ruin our lives. We might allow ourselves to forget how painful, scary, and exhausting it was. And when someone we think is in the closet is BENEFITING from it, girl – watch out! We shade that cowardly bitch all over the place.

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Obviously, I am no scholar, psychologist or mind-reader. Who knows if Ian is telling the truth or not?  Do any of those reasons I listed ring true to you? Am I simplistic? Full of shit? Let’s discuss. Hash it out in the comments!

41 thoughts on “Ian Thorpe: Why Do We Refuse To Believe It When A Guy Tells Us He’s Straight?

  1. Probably the same reason why no one believes in bisexuals in real life, but when you see one Gay4Pay guy in a straight scene, suddenly it’s, “Well, he’s gotta be bi, then.”

  2. No one believes in bi-sexuals in real life??? I am a mid fifties man that has been bi most of my life, I enjoy sex with men and woman. Only a fool would make that statement as I know a few bi-sexual men and woman.

  3. No one believes in bi-sexuals in real life??? I am a mid fifties man that has been bi most of my life, I enjoy sex with men and woman. Only a fool would make that statement as I know a few bi-sexual men and woman.

  4. It is easier to fantasize about being in a relationship with Ian Thorpe if you convince yourself that he is gay. Same thing with Tim Tebow, I have a HUGE crush on Tim Tebow and love to picture Timmy and I shacked up in a quaint little house in the burbs with 2 dogs and a wisecracking hispanic maid named Rosario. In order for me to maintain that fantasy, I have convinced myself that he sucks cock. We would rather convince ourselves that someone is lying about their sexuality than shatter our fantasies.

  5. It is easier to fantasize about being in a relationship with Ian Thorpe if you convince yourself that he is gay. Same thing with Tim Tebow, I have a HUGE crush on Tim Tebow and love to picture Timmy and I shacked up in a quaint little house in the burbs with 2 dogs and a wisecracking hispanic maid named Rosario. In order for me to maintain that fantasy, I have convinced myself that he sucks cock. We would rather convince ourselves that someone is lying about their sexuality than shatter our fantasies.

  6. It is easier to fantasize about being in a relationship with Ian Thorpe if you convince yourself that he is gay. Same thing with Tim Tebow, I have a HUGE crush on Tim Tebow and love to picture Timmy and I shacked up in a quaint little house in the burbs with 2 dogs and a wisecracking hispanic maid named Rosario. In order for me to maintain that fantasy, I have convinced myself that he sucks cock. We would rather convince ourselves that someone is lying about their sexuality than shatter our fantasies.

  7. It is easier to fantasize about being in a relationship with Ian Thorpe if you convince yourself that he is gay. Same thing with Tim Tebow, I have a HUGE crush on Tim Tebow and love to picture Timmy and I shacked up in a quaint little house in the burbs with 2 dogs and a wisecracking hispanic maid named Rosario. In order for me to maintain that fantasy, I have convinced myself that he sucks cock. We would rather convince ourselves that someone is lying about their sexuality than shatter our fantasies.

  8. The real question is why don’t we ever accuse unattractive people of being huge closet cases? It’s always the really hot athletes or actors who we swear up and down are gay, that we know someone, who knows someone, whose brother slept with him, and he’s a vers bottom. You never hear people arguing that Jack Black, or Zach Strief (fat New Orleans Saints player) or Danny DeVito, or Joe Pesci must be major closet cases, because not too many people want to shag them.

  9. The real question is why don’t we ever accuse unattractive people of being huge closet cases? It’s always the really hot athletes or actors who we swear up and down are gay, that we know someone, who knows someone, whose brother slept with him, and he’s a vers bottom. You never hear people arguing that Jack Black, or Zach Strief (fat New Orleans Saints player) or Danny DeVito, or Joe Pesci must be major closet cases, because not too many people want to shag them.

  10. I know guys who are bi, they love women, they love pussy, but they also love to suck cock or get fucked from time to time. If they had to choose one or the other most would choose pussy, but they still love some occaisional cock.

  11. like all those hetero-boys who had posters of beautiful-women on their walls… turns out that many of those same women are gay (tech: lesbian) but it is easier to label them as straight so that the fantasy is maintained… the closet door swings both ways – but that doesnt mean that every door leads to a closet…

  12. Calm down!! I’m not saying bisexuals don’t exist; I’m saying, if you follow the comments on these porn blogs the general attitude is “bi-now, gay later”, but all of a sudden bisexuality becomes valid when it comes to G4P guys.

    My point is that it’s just a form of “inferiority complex”. When it comes to our sexuality, the struggles we go through in life tend to make a lot of us a bit touchy and defensive. We project our insecurities on other people, even though rationally, we know that other peoples’ sexualities have nothing to do with our own. But we somehow feel justified in judging them anyway.

  13. Calm down!! I’m not saying bisexuals don’t exist; I’m saying, if you follow the comments on these porn blogs the general attitude is “bi-now, gay later”, but all of a sudden bisexuality becomes valid when it comes to G4P guys.

    My point is that it’s just a form of “inferiority complex”. When it comes to our sexuality, the struggles we go through in life tend to make a lot of us a bit touchy and defensive. We project our insecurities on other people, even though rationally, we know that other peoples’ sexualities have nothing to do with our own. But we somehow feel justified in judging them anyway.

  14. Calm down!! I’m not saying bisexuals don’t exist; I’m saying, if you follow the comments on these porn blogs the general attitude is “bi-now, gay later”, but all of a sudden bisexuality becomes valid when it comes to G4P guys.

    My point is that it’s just a form of “inferiority complex”. When it comes to our sexuality, the struggles we go through in life tend to make a lot of us a bit touchy and defensive. We project our insecurities on other people, even though rationally, we know that other peoples’ sexualities have nothing to do with our own. But we somehow feel justified in judging them anyway.

  15. Calm down!! I’m not saying bisexuals don’t exist; I’m saying, if you follow the comments on these porn blogs the general attitude is “bi-now, gay later”, but all of a sudden bisexuality becomes valid when it comes to G4P guys.

    My point is that it’s just a form of “inferiority complex”. When it comes to our sexuality, the struggles we go through in life tend to make a lot of us a bit touchy and defensive. We project our insecurities on other people, even though rationally, we know that other peoples’ sexualities have nothing to do with our own. But we somehow feel justified in judging them anyway.

  16. I don’t really find Ian Thorpe attractive. I can see how he’s hot in in some people’s eyes but he just doesn’t really do it for me.

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