I Wanna Make Cody Belew Say “OH” With My Dick Up His Butt.

It is scientifically proven (by my dick) that Cody Belew is the sexiest contestant to ever appear on The Voice, and Josiah Hawley can sit his pretty boy ass down on a giant dildo called obscurity. The bearded, gyrating country boy stole my heart (and my boner) on the third season of the NBC singing competition, and now he has a new single out that I’m going to say is great! Because that’s what you do when you find people attractive! You lie to them and butter them up until they’re naked in your bed with your dick buried as deep as humanly possible up their fuzzy holes, as they purr in their Southern accent about how good it feels that you’re inside of them…

Seriously, though, “You Make Me Wanna” might be objectively terrible. It sounds like Prince and Jason Mraz had a baby together, then Michael Jackson stole that baby and dangled it over a balcony. That’s a generous description, and yet, I’ve listened to it approximately 69 times this morning. Because that’s what you do when you find people attractive! You deal with their flaws and shortcomings until you love them, and now I might love this dumb, cheesy song with every bone of my body (but especially my dick).

Ugh, I wanna make Cody Belew say “OH”.

– Dewitt

Listen to Cody Belew’s new single “You Make Me Wanna” below:

Cody Belew is sitting on an invisible dick in this picture, and it's making him wanna say OH.

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