Did anyone else think this past Sunday’s episode of True Blood was way better than the premiere? Two words: NO FAIRYLAND. The fairy lore in this show is bringing me down (although I could use the ability to throw lethal glitter bombs). Lots of crazy business went on in Bon Temps this past Sunday night. For a character blow-by-blow (bite-by-bite?), keep reading.
– J. Harvey
For a True Blood recap, Follow the JUMP:
Sookie – Well, Eric didn’t eat her, but they had a convo about how he wants her, and she’s better than a human, and blah blah blah just get with him already. She informs Eric that all this validation isn’t going to make her “magically open my legs for you.” “That was saucy,” Eric drolly replies. Eric is James Bond, Lestat, Shane from The L Word, and Batman all rolled into one. Basically, every hot character from pop culture grafted together and coming out of a coffin. SOOKEH welcomes Tara (whose hair is now straight and lovely) home (despite thinking she’s an advancing evil fairy flashback) and then goes to see BEEL to ask his help in getting her house back. Bill is detained by his coven spy Katerina and a Sex Pistols-esque flashback, so Sookie goes off to Fangtasia to find Eric again. Does anyone else feel like the characters of True Blood spend an inordinate amount of time in trying to find each other, and missing each other? Someone just left Fangtasia, someone’s in Dallas, whisked off to Fairyland? Ugh. Anyway, Sookie pulls up on Eric whilst driving home. And guess who doesn’t know who he is?
Annoyance level – 7. She’s still in the same ole’ cycle of Eric, Bill, her whiny self…..
Bill – It turns out Bill won his Sophie-Anne battle last season by employing men with vampire-killin’ ammo. We also find out that he was recruited by the amazing Nan Flanagan in London during the punk-era because she noted he wasn’t killing his prey. Bill was all Sid Vicious hair, but they did this bit way better on Buffy with Spike. Just sayin’. So, from the very beginning, Bill has been Nan’s player in the game. Which would explain why he’s King of Louisiana now. Wow. All that shrimp. Oh, and he sends Eric to put Marnie’s coven down because they can control the dead and vampires are dead. See the problem?
Annoyance level – 5. It was the hair in that flashback.
Eric – We’ve covered his little talk with Sookie, and his being assigned to end the coven. Anyway, when he gets there – he tells em’ that their little resurrection meetings are over. Marnie ain’t having it, but neither is Eric so he begins to eat her. Tara (who got pulled into this mess by Lafayette and Jesus) goes to rescue Marnie by wielding a stake but Eric easily disarms her. Before he can compliment Tara on her hot weave and then kill her, the coven chants their parakeet-raisin’ words and Marnie casts a spell which renders Eric amnesiac and lost like a big blonde Nordic dullard. Note that Marnie seemed to be possessed by something while she was casting it. I’m intrigued to see what True Blood can do with a possession storyline, although I seriously DON’T want to see Harry Potter’s aunt diddling herself with a crucifix.
Annoyance level – 0 until he was rendered memory-free. Puppy-dog-discovering-the-world-Sookie-dependant Eric isn’t going to be very fun.
Jason – is exactly where he should be – tied to a bed and shirtless. Hot damn. The tina-smoking panther hillbillies have Jason imprisoned because his girlfriend Crystal and her half-brother/fiance (interesting family dynamic) want a baby? Err. Oh, and they want it as a WERE-PANTHER baby so Crystal is going to have Jason impregnate her. After they turn him into one of them. Yikes. So Jason gets bit on.
Annoyance level – 0. Did I mention shirtless and tied up?
That was it for the main characters. Sheriff Andy was buying V from the half-brother/fiance and ignored Jason’s screams cuz’ drugs are bad. Jesus convinced Lafayette to go to another coven meeting, wherein Marnie announced they were going to raise a human next. Sam’s new chick from his shapeshifter quilting circle can also shift into humans. Prediction – a major character will die at the end of the season and you will find out in the Season 5 premiere that it was actually Sam’s chick that bought it. Hoyt and Jessica took on some vampire protesters with Pam, had another fight (you probably shouldn’t refer to your girlfriend’s blood as “shit”, even non-vampire girlfriends would take offense) and Jessica got her some fangbanger ass in Fangtasia’s bathroom. That place sees A LOT of action. Until next time…
i actually enjoyed the Fairy/Goblin angle (they did it very well without being overly Lord of the Rings)
I thought it might be Tommy that bites it (as Sam will try to be a “Skin Walker” as per his new vagina bag confessed)
I can’t wait for next Sun!
great job on the recap!
I’m confused! So what’s the story of the first picture?
True Blood ROCKS!!!!
I’ve been trying to make True Blood even gayer by using a pic from previous episodes that included some man-on-man action. That pic if from when Eric fucked Russell Edgington’s boyfriend Talbot last year. And then killed him. I didn’t include the killing part because it sort of kills the sexy.
Thanks for the clarification for the newbies. I need to get HBO!
To me the most homoerotic scene was when shirtless Bill came into Sam’s motel room. First, Bill asks Sam if he has any a shirt he can borrow. Sam says no & offers Bill “the shirt off his back.” While Sam takes off his shirt for Bill, Bill eyeballs Sam’s pecs and comments, “NICE.” Sam sheepishly replies, “Thanks.” Then Bill asks Sam if he’d like to join him in the shower. Sam hesitates and then sheepishly replies, “I believe I would.” Bill comments on what a NICE TIME they are going to have and how HARD the water is in (forgot the location)…….the two nudge closer together getting ready for a hot-ass man on man kiss………then, damn, fuck the luck, the phone rings and SAM WAKES UP FROM HIS DREAM!
Man, I have that recorded on my DirecTV and replay it over and over. It is much hotter than any porn I’ve seen! Both Bill and Sam are manly, and YOU KNOW how those vampires fuck. That scene is so HOT I jack off every time just thinking about those two guys going at it! But, you know what? They NEVER continued this plot. This was they one and only time Bill and Sam have had any homoerotic scenes together or apart.
I keep hoping for some kind of homoerotic dream sequence (or even better, NOT a dream) with Jason (Ryan Kwaten) and Hoyt (Jim Parrack); those two studs get me hard every time I see them on the show. And while we are at it, why not throw in Alcide (Joe Manganiello) while we are at it. Those 3 are, in my most humble opinion, that hottest men on the show.
LOL Rob they could wrestle ( naked ) and who ever gets pinned GETS FUCKED !
Remember back I think N season 2 Sam had a rather hot steamy dream where he and Bill were starting 2 get it on romantically when he ( Sam ) suddenly woke up . Sam romantic dream with bill was in just that one episode and was never revisited . I have yet 2 hear reason as 2 why TB back away from Sam & Bill getting it on N Sam dreams .
I’ve been kinda scarred by the idea of Harry Potter’s aunt diddling herself with a crucifix, why oh why would you ever say that. It’s going to take soooo much porn to undo it.