Just like romantic comedies ruin love for all of us, gay porn can put unrealistic expectations into our brains about real-life sexual fantasies. The classic, somewhat cliché pizza guy schtick is the type of thing we all wish could happen to us—“I didn’t order extra sausage! Bow chicka wow wow.”—but it never really pans out that way when he shows up on your doorstep.
But maybe I’m wrong about that! Have you ever hooked up with a pizza guy? Or some other delivery guy? If so, please share all of the details, so we can live vicariously through you (instead of jerking off to this video of Damien Crosse and Felix Barca).
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Stag Homme
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Never been so lucky – Did know a guy that worked at a pizza place and we planned on hooking up after he got off work one night. He brought a pizza and had some cheesy line when I opened the door, not that it really counts but hey I got pizza from the delivery boy and sex all for free.
No, but I did have a pizza delivery guy heavily flirt with me the day after when we were both in line at the grocery store. Unfortunately, he was being a little too obnoxious with the pickup lines and he was only slightly cute, so I didn’t take him up on it, but if he had tried that the night before, I probably would have just so I could have the story to share.
I did have a hook up with a cable guy a few years ago. I have always had a fantasy about this, but always got the female or the chubby cable person. So I was NOT expecting anything from this appointment. It did require equipment repair and cable replacement so it did take longer than expected. It turned out to be his last call of the night and there happened to be a football game on TV. This guy was short, muscled, hairy with luscious lips and deep blue eyes that twinkled. He kept eluding to the fact that his girlfriend was out for the evening and he really didn’t have any plans. He was wearing perfect 501’s that fit yummy. After working for awhile he did get hot, so took off his work jacket to expose a tight white Tshirt. Also the bottom button of his fly was unhooked. He had a couple tribal tats on his arm & a snake on his neck. I offered if he had no plans he could stay and watch the rest of the game after he fixed my cable. After 2 hours he did get my cable to work, but complained about some shoulder pain. He said he would like to stay and watch the game as it was some kind of play off game. I offered him a beer which led to a few beers, but he was so tired & relaxed I offered to massage his shoulder. He replied, “What the hell, why not” and proceeded to sit on the floor between my legs and leaned back into the couch. I asked if he could remove the Tshirt so I could get into the deep tissue. I had no idea what I was doing except sporting a major boner. He also had perfect pecs with light fuzzy blonde hair on his chest. As I proceeded to rub the shoulders from behind I slowly let my hands wander down his hairy chest and there was no indication for me to stop. By then we both had probably 6 beers apiece and the game was pretty close so his attention was completely on the game and not my hands. As I proceeded down the chest to his waist, my beer courage let me push my hands inside the jeans and unbutton each button slowly. At this point there was a field goal kicked and as the ball was in the air he raised his hips in excitement and I took the chance to push my hands down further. To my surprise he was NOT wearing any underwear and he was hard with droplets of precum. The field goal was good and as he leaned back into my spread legs he was so relaxed he just laid his head on my thigh and let me continue squeezing & stroking his hard cock. By then I was just delirious and horny and slowly just pushed him to the floor on his back and proceeded to explore his entire body. There was no resistance at all and then he started to respond to my exploring hands. We then both proceeded to get naked and then moved to the bedroom. During all this time I could not believe I lucky I was and that this fantasy was actually happening. He ended up spending the night and when he left in the morning I got a full hug and he squeezed my ass. I never heard from him again although I continue to call for cable problems, but do not get him. Watching cable TV during football season brings back warm memories and I end up stroking during the whole game and shooting my wad at the end. I know this totally does sound cheesey and fake, but I know my cable guy was real and that is all that counts. Thanks for letting me share.
Never had any luck with a delivery guy, but did give oral to a telephone repair man. He saw my gay porn mags on the coffee table, made some lame comment about guys blowing other dudes and is it really any better and I just said wanna find out. He left knowing that guys do it best.
Sadly no pizza guy, but there was the contractor that was working for a client of mine a few years ago. He was my age (early 30s) and had a live in girlfriend, and during the weeks of renovations, we became friendly, and would often trade all kinds of sexual induendo. One hot and gross NYC summer day when my clients were away, we had beers and smoked a joint on the terrace after his crew had wrapped, and I flirted a bit I must say…he looked good sweaty. He asked if he could clean up by showering before meeting his girlfriend, and I walked him to one of the guest rooms and I jokingly offered to wash his back. He laughed and asked “with a towel or your tongue?” I think I must have ripped his jeans off…Oh those were the days of being a celeb assistant! HA! We hooked up every now and then afterwards for about a year…then he married the gf and moved upstate…boring!
Great story. I can only hope I get a similar experience. Where’s part 2 of what happened in the bedroom and throughout the night?
I have not, but it’s definitely a fantasy of mine…also, what’s with the filter they used? It’s like, instagram. xD
Don’t get me started on pizza guys. They will break your heart.
I certainly wouldn’t mind delivering my pizza to that guy. Extra pepperoni.
In college I worked for a courier company for a short time. When the door opened on a delivery to a private residence, my eyes went right to the bulge of a handsome, athletic man. He caught my eyes there and smiled, inviting me in after he signed for the parcel, which was against company policy. I didn’t care and as soon as it was closed he pressed me up against the back of the door, his mouth in mine. I didn’t resist. Soon he dropped to his knees, unbuttoned my 501s and had me in his mouth while my fingers ran thru his hair. “Follow me,” he said. I walked thru his house, looking at pictures of his wife and young family on the walls as I climbed the stairs. He began shedding clothes in the upstairs hallway. I waited until he closed the door to shed jeans, t-shirt and Nike’s. He came up behind me, pulled my jockeys down and pressed against me, rubbing his erection in my crack while kissing me. We fell on his bed, our bodies twined. When he pulled condoms and lube from the nightstand, I opened my legs to him, which he held by his neck while thrusting his big thick cock in me. He fucked all over that bed, filling two condoms, but while doing me standing he reached around and stroked me until I shot the huge load which had been building, yelling. It ran down the wall three feet away. “You college guys,” he said as I dressed. I cupped his junk when he kissed me by the door when I left.