Gay Ass Gossip: Prince Harry Is Here!

ITEM – How funny is that dude behind him on the ass checkout eyeball flight path? Prince Harry has arrived in the US to do some sort of helicopter training in Arizona and California. I’d take a spin on his whirlybird. You might have felt a fiery sensation riding up throughout your body. It’s because of Harry’s ginge hotness. All of us redhead-lovers felt his first step onto U.S. soil in our taint areas. You don’t need to go to the walk-in clinic.

– J. Harvey

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ITEM – This one’s going to get me slapped. Ok, so U.S. citizen Amanda Knox was freed on appeal after serving five years on a murder rap in Italy. You read the papers, you know all this. What J. Harvey didn’t know was that Amanda’s ex-boyfriend, Raffaele Sollecito, had cleaned up his act and gotten hot? He used to look like this. Is Italian jail a fucking spa, cuz’ now he looks like the pics posted. Obviously a PR person or a savvy lawyer improved his clothing sitch, but dude got contacts, moisturizer, and a buzz and he’s cute. I really, really hope I’m noting the cuteness of a dude that was wrongfully imprisoned and not one who is a psychotic murderer that beat the rap.

*sigh*

***

ITEM – Who ISN’T Ryan Reynolds fucking? I’ve got an answer for ya – ME. This bitch has been in town (Boston) for weeks now and does he roll up on me? Nope. Granted, I’m no come-hither beauty but I suck a MEAN dick. Seeing as he’s with a new girl every weekend, he’s finding them lacking in something. And that something is surely peen-suckin’ skills!

Anyway, Ryan reportedly had his Green Lantern co-star Blake Lively up to his apartment here in Boston last weekend to straight up fuck for two days. What else are they gonna do? He’s exciting because he’s got body oddy oddy. She’s about as interesting as this packet of microwave oatmeal. The girl doesn’t even qualify as flavored oatmeal. Maple and brown sugar elude this bitch. And the media keep TRYING to force her into Hollywood royalty. She just got through with a completely un-manufactured relationship with Leonardo DiCaprio. Her publicist and Ryan’s obviously had a convo, and it led to this. Ugh, Hollywood. Ryan should go back to Sandy Bullock. She seems like a sweetheart, and a lot more interesting than this chick. She was married to a Neo-Nazi! She must have stories.

288 thoughts on “Gay Ass Gossip: Prince Harry Is Here!

  1. barf! I am a proud supporter of the uk republicans on facebook and i cannot support the fact that all protest banners against the jubilee have to be run past the police first. Sorry this is a family of parasites. Lazy ‘Ginge’ included.

  2. did anyone notice the hot daddy type checking out Harry’s ass as he leaves the plane?  guess he wants some ginger spiced buns… 🙂

  3. Ryan Reynolds has always caught my eye. One very hot man. And I agree… Go back to Sandra. Would marry her in a heartbeat.

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