ITEM – Bradley Cooper will reportedly play doping, dream-killing cycling bully Lance Armstrong in a biopic. The good news is Bradley Cooper in one of those singlets with his ass perched on a bike seat. The bad news is blech, Lance Armstrong. I hope he’s not involved. I hope it’s realistic as fuck. Dude’s a psycho. Wait, didn’t Lance have testicular cancer? I know it will be in a medical context but Bradley Cooper nut shot? OH! And Lance getting his butt eaten? Ok, this project has some possibilities.
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ITEM – Openly gay salt-n-pepper shaker Andy Cohen has declined hosting the Miss Universe pageant in Moscow due their crazed anti-gay climate. He has co-hosted for the last two years. Good for you, Andy. E! reports that Cohen said he didn’t feel safe going there (with good reason) and that they can suck his big salt-n-pepper dick. He didn’t say that last part but I wish he would. To me.
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ITEM – Remember the 90s? I don’t. I had too many smart drinks, and they wiped my brain completely. Jonathan Taylor Thomas was the tween heartthrob on Home Improvement. Here he is at 31 at a movie premiere this week. He stayed cute. The dude on the right played his older brother and he looks a little like a divorced father of 3. That’s ok, though! That can be hot.
JTT also made an appearance on his former TV dad Tim Allen’s new show earlier this year. Stills from that are below. I totally would. He’s short, which means he’s a potential pocket gay. Portable. You can impale them on your cock and cart them around.
Photo credit: US Weekly
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WOW! Young Simba turned out to be really hot and sexy!
What are you talking about? Sex with lions is very risky, especially without a condom.
There was a report from Donald Trump’s office stating Andy Cohen hadn’t even been hired to co-host the pageant. Mr. Cohen jumping the gun on his contract or Mr. Trump trying to dodge a PR bullet…which do you think?
As a testicular cancer survivor, the best way to check for lumps, etc. is in the shower when your scrotum has dropped. Now imagine Bradley Cooper in the shower getting checked by a male doctor…maybe Joe Manganiello for example? I’d watch that movie!!!
♪ Oh I just can’t wait to do the king! ♫
(i’m sorry. pun hell. i know.)
Bradley in biking shorts and getting his ass eaten……….sign me up for help with any of that.
I’d be lion if I didn’t think that was catty.