Gay Ass Gossip: A-Rod Is Screwed

ITEM – The question is – was he as much of a big floppy dick as Lance Armstrong about all this juicin’? Baseball legend Alex Rodriguez (pop culture code name – A-Rod) must choose between taking a suspension from the MLB until 2015 or risk a lifetime ban from the sport as a result of his alleged doping. Mr. Rod won’t publicly admit he was on the juicy juice but those in the know say that MLB officials have enough on him to feel secure in offering that deal. If he takes the suspension, he’ll be out  $34.5 million in salary but still earn $61 million 2015-2017. Once you’re already a multi-millionaire, that’s not that much, right?

Ugh, these guys are horrific assholes. If you’re making that much money, you can at least earn it by playing fair and hitting the gym as opposed to the lab. Let’s not fuck around, though, illegal drugs gave him a nice bod.

– J. Harvey

Photo credit – Details

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ITEM – Lindsay Lohan got out of the booze and drug pokey and they let her sad ass host Chelsea Handler. Is everyone on that show a mess? Not only that, but she go to interview the SCRUMPTIOUS Dylan Bruce from my new favorite show of all time Orphan Black. Is that like a rehab push present? A keep your nostrils clean present? Why does she get all the breaks? Probably because Amanda Bynes has demonstrated that you CAN fuck up worse than a Lohan. Anyway, Dylan Bruce = yes.

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ITEM – That’s, um….his name is…wow. Uh….what? Oh, Jon Franco. Some new show called The Vineyard. It’s a show that I will watch on mute with a bottle of baby oil and a box of Kleenex on-hand, praying for a shirtless scene.

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4 thoughts on “Gay Ass Gossip: A-Rod Is Screwed

  1. A-Rod has fucked the Yankee’s, I hope the Yankee’s find a loophole in his contract and never have to pay him anything in 2015-2017, He’s also a douche bag personally.

  2. As a Red Sox fan, I hope the Yanks have to pay every nickle of it….they deserve each other for throwing all that money at him in a long term deal in the first place.

  3. So, “they have enough on him” to suspend him until 2015…then he gets to play again and make (definitely not EARN) $61M? THAT’S setting an example to to prevent someone else from doing this! Ban him for life. Period. Show EVERYONE—the players, the teams and the fans—that this will NOT be tolerated.

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