Fuck, Marry, Block: “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”

I was so into Rooney Mara as the punked-out, depressive, bisexual hacker chick in the upcoming The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, but then she opened her fool mouth and started talking shit about one of my fave rave programs, Law & Order: SVU. Mariska Hargitay needs to backhand this pale twat. Benson and Stabler are the hotness (we miss you, Stabler) and this bitch needs to be grateful for her first job! Anyway, we’re here to talk about dick…dick you want to fuck, dick you want to marry, and dick that is getting NOWHERE near your Manhunt profile. So we’ll use Rooney’s movie.

Daniel Craig plays the male lead, former ER doc Goran Visnjic plays an employer of “The Girl”, and someone named Yorick Van Wageningen plays someone named Bjurman. Honestly, I included the guy for his name alone. I’d fuck his name if it were a person. It just sounds like he has a huge hog, doesn’t it? Vote after the jump!

– J. Harvey

Daniel Craig

Goran Visnjic

Yorick Van Wageningen (definitely has a large wang)