The folks over at Fleshjack just released a brand new sex-amajig called the “Sword”. You may be thinking to yourself, “Why do I need this in my life?” Well, it’s a good thing we’re here! Because we’re going to tell you exactly why you need to stick your dick into one of these immediately.
But not yet. First things first, we should explain why the Sword’s different from a regular ol’ Fleshjack. Just kidding. We’re going to let Flashjack explain that for us:
“Sword by Fleshjack is still made with Fleshlight’s patented Superskin material but the internal masturbation sleeve is enclosed in a soft case. The soft exterior case of the Sword allows you to grip as hard as you want which adds an entirely new sensation.”
Got it? Good. Now let’s move on to my much-less-boring list of reasons you’ll want this.
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Fleshjack
To read the five reasons you NEED a Sword, follow the JUMP:
1. It’s blue and squishy: This is probably the most important reason. Now, you can tenderly caress your masturbation sleeve in public, and whisper to your friends, “I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy.” And then you can jizz in it.
2. Exclusive new texture!: “You will not find this texture with any other Fleshjack brand products.” So if you’re one of those people who’s collecting every single Fleshjack texture ever invented (and we know you are), then you don’t want to miss out on this one. New sensations! On your penis!
3. It doesn’t look like a flashlight: Ugh, stop trying to hide the fact that you touch yourself. We all do it. You don’t need a sex toy that’s “discreet” when you could have this beautifully designed creation sitting on your nightstand. You can even take it to the next level! Invite guests over and use it as a vase for your centerpiece. Give them away as wedding favors (holla at my newly married New York gays). Or maybe you could find a “wacky” way to incorporate it into your everyday fashion.
4. “Become the ultimate sexual warrior”: We lied. This is actually the most important reason. How fucking bad-ass does that sound? It makes it seem like you’ll use the Sword, and then your dick will magically be able to conquer a few villages and beat down some malevolent goblin queen. Fuck man. Where do we sign?
5. The musical accompaniment in this video: Need we say more?
I have something better for that haot boi then a flaskjack, it’s my sweet hot ass
Is it really sweet??
This is probably one of your more funny posts, Dewitt.
I was pretty much dying the whole time lol.
sweet as sugar
Oh, you two! Get a room. ;P
I want I want!! Hate living with parents! Grrrrr need my own PO Box for this stuff!
I’ll keep my Tenga Fliphole. Cheaper, better, and easier to clean.
beat down some malevolent goblin queen
Oy! What the hell, Manhunt?!
Not you, dear. You’re perfect.
what ….. fuck is this… start looking like apple stuff when you think you good one, another better one come!!!! shit l0L
they are not much good… dont waste your time and money
Holy. God.. That music is terrible.
can we watch?…lol
he is a cute hott fuck…n luv the bed…
any textural distraction from the challenge of life is good. And I SHOULD KNOW. I’m in the most rural environment and it’s not polite to jump the sheep or goats and have neighbours drive by, you get a bad reputation. Unless you are engaged.
”
So buy toys!
I already ordered mine the second it came out…..gonna be so sweet
I love when a company uses a sexy guy to show off their product…and he’s naked and shoots. SOLD! Okay, maybe just hard but close to sold.
oh!
that was a pretty elabourate.. ..set-up there, just to sell a masturbatory sleeve!
(i’d rather take the guy though.
l.o.l.)