Everything Butt: The Best Asses of 2011

As promised this past Thursday, we’re kicking off our first round of “Best of 2011” posts with a very special edition of Everything Butt. Today’s countdown is based purely on popularity, so we had no say regarding the order in which these men appear.

With that said, we can state that you all have extremely good taste. We’d sell our left testicle to sleep with any of the men on this list! Well, at least Dewitt would. We’re pretty sure J. Harvey would want both of his balls if he ever got his hands on Nick Sterling

Click through to find out who had the best asses of 2011:

10. JED of SEAN CODY:

We wrote: “Why would anyone ever make fun of those gloriously fuzzy mounds of pleasure? We can only surmise that all the guys who cracked jokes in the locker room were secretly lusting after Jed’s rump. “Ha ha! Look at your big ass! You’re like a male version of J. Lo,” they’d say… And then they’d go home and masturbate. Profusely.”

9. CHIP TANNER of RANDY BLUE:

We wrote: “His smooth, muscular cheeks are practically unbelievable, jutting out as if they were from some ol’ school Tom of Finland cartoon. While I’d like to think I’m ready for that jelly, I’m not completely sure. It’s almost too much to handle!”

8. KALLIPYGOS D:

We wrote: “We don’t feel bad about posting Kallipygos D twice, because this man takes some of the best ass pictures in the universe. This is only a small sampling of the various shots on his Flickr page.”

7. KURT MADISON of RANDY BLUE:

We wrote: “Kurt is both a gymnast and a dancer (flexibility!), and the way he pops his booty makes our dicks throb uncontrollably. While it’d be a crime if he hasn’t filmed a hardcore scene as a top, it’ll be just as bad if he never winds up on the receiving end…”

6. BROCK YURICH:

We wrote: “Yurich is a native of Philly, and currently resides in Orlando where he MUST be doing squats all day long, playing hockey, or speedskating because ASS. Did we mention ASS? Brock’s got some.”

5. NICK STERLING of RANDY BLUE:

We wrote: “The two of us have fights (that only exist in my brain) over who would have to take sloppy seconds, should Nick ever throw himself hole-first at our penises. To be completely honest, sloppy seconds wouldn’t even matter, because Nick’s ass is so remarkable that you wouldn’t even care who tapped it before you.”

4. BEN BROWN:

We wrote: “The ‘B’ in ‘Ben Brown’ should stand for ‘Body’ and ‘Butt.’ One of our favorite UK-based porn stars has a nice, perky arse and he’s very into showing it off.”

3. MARKO LEBEAU:

We wrote: “Marko Lebeau has a serious case of ‘cub butt’… From the neck up, he’s got this all-American pretty boy appeal. From the neck down, he’s got a muscular body that’s sure to please all the jock lovers…
Then he turns around, and you’re confronted by a thick, hairy ass that makes you want to say ‘Woof’.”

2. MARCO of FRATMEN:

We wrote: “Some butts show up and they’re like BAM! WHAM! WALLOP! They smack you right in the face with their do-ability. Marco from Fratmen has that kind of ass. Round but tight, and it pops right up for you. You just want to sink your cock balls-deep into it.”

1. DANIEL RUMFELT:

We wrote: “Not everyone’s into tossing salad, but you gotta admit – Daniel Rumfelt‘s ass is BEGGING for a faceplant, no? Rumfelt is DNA magazine’s latest coverboy and holy hell, what a man. When Daniel’s not at the gym making himself godlike, he’s sending me pics of himself brandishing his throbbing cock and spreading his cheeks. You might have guessed that didn’t really happen, but butts like his make me delusional.”