Did Anyone Else Want To Beat Off To “American Horror Story: Asylum” Last Night?

Warning – the following post contains spoilers for American Horror Story: Asylum.

It says something about the male sex drive that even amidst all of the insane & homophobic nunbitch machinations, lesbians-in-distress, hand-eating creatures stalking the woods, electrical-probe wielding aliens, and Chloe Sevigny’s bad acting, I STILL wanted to freeze the screen on Evan Peters’ suddenly delicious body and jerk the fuck off!

(You did catch that there were severed hands in that bucket Sister Mary “I’m So Stupid, Punish Me!” was slopping out to the savage wood creatures, didn’t you? Happy Halloweeen!)

Evan Peters is a helluva good actor and obviously goes the distance to physically change for his roles. He went from the kinda grody school shooter Kurt Cobain knock-off ghost of last season to the sweet n’ sexy (and built!) 60s auto mechanic we were introduced to on American Horror Story: Asylum last night. We’re totally indebted to creator Ryan Murphy, because Evan’s character found himself trapped in the insane asylum of the title, and naked for a lot of it! The guy has obviously been working out for the role. Some of the initial scenes featured him in his tighty-whities, and then he had to get totally nekkid for his mental hospital intake. Tight ass, wiry muscles, and he’s got some hairy, sexy-as-fuck legs. When he wasn’t getting spanked by Jessica Lange and left to wander the hospital with his ass hanging out of a johnny, he was in a straightjacket and having to eat off the floor without his hands. Ok, this should probably be a post for “Let’s Get Kinky.”

Seriously though, watch the first episode if you get a chance and have your clicker ready to freeze on his butt and bod. Actually, don’t worry about it. We’ve got screen caps of all of it after the jump courtesy of superherofan.

Evan wasn’t the only hot piece showing off for us. Gorgeous Maroon 5 singer and The Voice judge Adam Levine is on the show, too. As our occasional Manhunt Daily blogger Diego pointed out to us, he totally did the “Ennis Del Mar” when he went to fuck his character’s wife in the show’s opening. Did you see him lick his fingers and moisten up his piece before he stuck it in her? OOOF. If you didn’t, there’s a GIF after the jump. You are so very welcome.

– J. Harvey

Screencap credit: superherofan.net