When porn star Nick Moretti poses for a picture, it’s almost as if he’s asking to appear in our Caption This series. Previously, we spotted him having a very furry rendezvous with Elmo, and now he’s hanging out in the middle of a sex shop, canoodling with a giant penis.
You know the drill by now, right? Throw on your thinking caps, and leave a comment with your funniest caption for this image. If you’re able to make us laugh, you might take a place as next week’s champion! So what are you waiting for? Hop to it!
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Nick Moretti
To check out last week’s winning caption, follow the JUMP:
Obviously, we had to give this one to Todd!
seen those only in amsterdam
don’t worry guys, i got this.
That’s some serious wood.
This is the second time my tongue has gotten stuck to a pole.
“If this is a grow-er, I am in a world of hurt!”
“And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest.” -Genesis 38:9
I think i can i think i can…..
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a penis pop?
One…
Two….
Three….
” I know for sure I’m sticking with this one”
Finally something worthy of my hot tongue.
At Willy Wonka’s, the Raspberries taste like Raspberries. Strawberries taste like Strawberries Cock taste like Cock.
“I thought this was a giant Tootsie Roll”
“Can I lick your giant woody?”
Shaft! ….It’s the man
So that’s where Pinnochio’s missing parts are…
all you cant get in your mouth is surplus to requirements
FINALLY! Something I’ll be able to feel!
“How many licks does it take to get to the center of that Woody pop!”
get the umbrella cuz when this blows…………
“HELF! I fink I’m suck!!! OWWWW! Sphlinter!!!!”
No wonder Jack went back down the beanstalk. Would you want to get impaled by that thing?
Now, that’s a WOODY, :-)LOL
I triple dog dare you!
“You know, since they hired that gay dude to run the Muir Woods giftshop, the merchandise has gotten a lot more interesting..”
Goldicocks
You should see when he makes it cum!
“Fake!” 😛
A Cockwork Orange…
If I do this long enough, out comes splinters
There’s a bigger one at the sex museum in Amsterdam
Now this is my idea of wood!
his eyes made a promise his mouth couldn’t deliver
Tastes like chicken !
Ya gotta lick it before ya stick it.
MORE LUBE
but do you know where its been?
Wow look how big my arms are and how scrawny my legs look. Man, I’m such a pansy-assed loser that I look like every other douchebag that doesn’t know his way around a weightroom. Add this faux-military haircut in the mix and I really look like a faggot. Now that I’m having my midlife crisis and no one wants to fuck me anymore because I look ridiculous, I have to resign myself to licking store fixtures. Oh well, at least I can’t get herpes (again).
At first I thought it was kinda nice, but then it got really sappy.
“I’ve taken bigger.”
Yeah, my new boyfriend’s kind of a dick, but I love him anyway!
How much WOOD, can a woodchuck chuck?
Remember when you were warned not to stick your tongue on a steel pole in winter?
“I’m an Environmentalist…and I’m HARDCORE!’
Ron always wondered why he had a reputation as a size queen, but he could never figure it out.
First, Poor Little One is a pathetic hater, secondly:
“I say it’s cut wood, can’t taste any cheese.”
Go ahead…I triple dog dare ya!
make him angry.. he gets bigger.
It’s just a loaner boner
An entirely new take on the Salt Lick.
With my trick jaw, this will be a breeze.
* Penis shown actual size.
Now that’s a woody..
Heaven and Hell
Heaven for the gay man and hell for the homophobic
Attention size queens: have we got a deal for you!!!
Just to let you know you have to go into the Castro in SF to find the penis. It is there.
Suck it, deeper, take it all the way down. Oh yea, you were great.
A Size Queens got to do what a Size Queens got to do
HO ! HO ! HO ! green giant
You say tree hugging hippie like it’s a BAD thing.
“Tastes like chicken!”
GOT WOOD?
Next on Adult Fairy Tales: “Jack-off and the Beanstalk”
I TRIPLE dog dare ya!
Damn!! I should have read ALL of them before I put mine in. One of them was already taken! LOL Sorry Tigger!!!
Pinnochio’s nose isn’t the only thing that gets bigger with each lie…
I don’t care if my tounge sticks mom, I have to lick it!
The best jawbreaker you could ever want or take, it takes a lickin and keeps on tickin!
Who ever can swallow it all, gets it free.
HOMOCOASTER: You must be this tall to ride alone.
As an adult, Jack had moved *way* beyond beanstalks….
Guys! Can I have a moment?!?!
Looks like Nick went from Elmo to Big Bird!
I told you mine was bigger than yours
“Darling, you should really cut down on the Viagra!”
So this is what happens if you experence an erection lasting longer than 4 hours.
Let me show you this new trick I just learned!
I hear if you like the Fellatiarney Stone you get good luck!
Nothing like sucking in the atmosphere.
Wow. You got some issues that you need to work out. What the hell would cause you to be such a mean, hurtful person. And I’d LOVE to see just what the heck you look like.