Burning Issue: Your Mom Made You Gay


Remember all those wack shrinks from back in the day who were always blaming the mothers for doting too much on the sons, and deducing that this was why we’re all limp-wristed fairy types? A group of scientists from the National Institute for Mathematical and Biological Synthesis are claiming that this isn’t exactly incorrect. Their theory is that being a homo is linked to “epimarks” which are “extra layers of information that control how certain genes are expressed.” The story is that these “epimarks” are normally erased between generations. But these guys are theorizing that in gays they aren’t erased, and mothers pass it to their sons and fathers to their daughters. This is from an evolutionary biologist at UC Santa Barbara and not from a screeching twink on a gay pride float so keep reading.


“These epi-marks protect fathers and mothers from excess or underexposure to testosterone — when they carry over to opposite-sex offspring, it can cause the masculinization of females or the feminization of males,” Rice says, which can lead to a child becoming gay. Rice notes that these markers are “highly variable” and that only strong epi-marks will result in a homosexual offspring.

I like the strong part but not so keen on the whole bit about me being gay cuz’ these epimarks made me girly? Wiliiam Rice, the leader of the study and the biologist at UC Santa Barbara, says that this is easy to test and they can verify it in just six months by doing some nerdy science stuff with genomes. No, really – me liking man ass is because nature didn’t want my mom growing a beard? Thoughts?

– J. Harvey